Survivor Season 13: Cook Islands

2006-12-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

We're down to the final five, People!

So I'm watching the first immunity challenge, and I can't help but root for Ozzy. He's just so damn good at the whole survivor thing, I WANT him to be the big winner. Jeff is droning on in the background about how this is the toughest puzzle ever in the history of Survivor. (Really? I mean, not that I've got some written record of all the challenges in the past... but from my comfy couch at home it looks just like another underfed, underbathed group of survivors scrambling around for puzzle pieces and then jigsawing them into place.) Jeff is also getting kind of hyper, telling us all how close the competition is... Yul, Adam, Ozzy puzzling it out, neck-and-neck. And I'm getting sucked in! I'm thinking, uh oh... Ozzy might lose this, and then those bastards are going to vote him home! Whatever, I obviously shouldn't have worried, because suddenly Ozzy's little flag is raising (that's not a euphemism for something else) and he's got immunity once again. Whew!

But this guy deserves to win, am I right? He has made no bones about it, and has just gone out there and been physically dominant throughout this entire experience. As much as he may be a part of the "close" Aitu tribe, unlike the rest of his tribemates he's still around because of his own performance not because of the safety he found in an alliance.

Case in point... immunity challenge number two. Standing on a itty bitty platform in the surf for as long as possible. Who wins? Our buddy Ozzy... hooray! Hell, he can climb a coconut tree while standing upright... standing on a postcard-sized platform on a clear day isn't much of a stretch.

All Right! Ozzy's in it for the million. Now I can relax. But what's this? They're changing it up a little this time, and THREE survivors get to go to the final tribal? Well, well... we'll have to see how that spins things.

Okay... Immunity challenge number one, Ozzy wins, which means Adam gets the boot. Oh, sadness. There goes the last of the whities. It's a non-caucasian winner! All those folks that were up in arms at the beginning of the season should be settled down now. See ya Adam... good luck with that "I sell copy machines to churches" thing.

But now, after challenge number two... it's the four amigos and they have to get rid of one of their own for the first time. Now, I know I'm going to sound all "peace and love", but I kind of like the fact they all decided to just manuver it towards a tie, and let the girls battle it out to earn their spot. That was UNTIL the actual tiebreaker challenge. Are you kidding me???? You're on Survivor, you've been out in the wilderness for over a month... and you girls can't make a fire???? Oh man, the sisterhood is really pissed at you two. You've made us girls look helpless all over again. So, how pitiful is it to watch these two muck around with flint for an HOUR an not be able to start a single fire. And if that wasn't bad enough, they are then given matches... and they still can't do it? Seriously Jeff, you should have just stopped them both, and sent them both over to the jury. Because at that moment, there was no chance that either of those girls was going to be awarded a million dollars. But finally, painfully... Becky builds a sad little flame that burns through the rope and (weak cheering and applause) our third person has been determined. See ya Sundra.

Meanwhile, the rest of the jury is rolling their eyes wondering, "How is it that they were still in the game, and we were voted out???"

So we have our final three: Yul (not a suprise), Ozzy (yah Ozzy!), and Becky (Becky... really?). And now it's up to the jury. Now, not that I really enjoyed the original snakes and rats speech from Season 1... but was it just me, or was this the most polite final tribal ever? Everyone kind of ignored Becky because hell, she could barely start fire even with matches. But even the questions to Yul and Ozzy were pretty tame and threaded with compliments. Adam tried to stir stuff up, but just like all season... Adam couldn't quite deliver. So everyone told them how lovely they were, then asked them easy questions like "What's your favorite color?" Everyone seems satisfied with the little interviews... and it was time to vote!

Time Warp... now we're in Hollywood again. Votes are read. Ozzy gets four, Becky gets none (surprise) and Yul gets five... and wins!

Okay... I'm a little disappointed that Ozzy didn't win. But Yul is not a bad alternate. He was my fav early-on, and it's only because Ozzy just got more and more impressive that he swayed my vote.

Congrats Yul! Ozzy... your phone will be ringing off the hook tomorrow morning with opportunities galore, I'm sure.

Until next time, Survivor fans!

2006-11-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

Man... Jonathan. You do realize you need votes at the end of this to actually win the million dollars, right? I mean, snaps to you for still being around. I honestly didn't expect you to be here this long, so you're obviously doing something right. But you're not making any buds, that's for sure. I have to agree with some of the bickering around the campfire. Once you start feeling comfortable in a situation, you kind of turn into a jerk. Remember wayyyy back, in the good ole' days when there were four tribes split along ethnic lines? A couple days into it, when because of your age and experience you started acting as if you were Big Man On Campus.... and then you started bitching about how everyone should get in line and build a floor for the shelter? I'm not saying that a floor wasn't a good idea, but you weren't exactly inspiring when it came to selling the idea. It was more like a direct order from a commanding officer. Only bad thing was, no one had signed up to play Army.

So, you had a few humble days when you stupidly followed Candice over during the mutiny. You quickly realized that no one really liked you, absolutely no one dared to trust you... and you did the only smart and sensible thing. You put your head down, stayed quiet, and caught a sh*tload of fish. Yeah, you should have continued to do that. But instead, after Yul first threatened, and later saved your butt, and you jumped ship YET AGAIN... you started getting cocky all over again. You know... Yul didn't pick you because he liked you the most, he picked you because you were the least liked on the other tribe, and therefore the easiest to peel off. You should be thanking him for giving you an extended life, not marching about and feeling smug as if you have a whole new slew of friends in your back pocket. Uh, because you don't.

So, aside from general cluelessness, I don't now what the heck Jonathan the Rat was thinking when he decided to play the spoiler during the auction. Okay, so you win lots of food and get to eat. That could just be good money management. But then you bid up items you aren't that interested in, or don't need, just to screw with everyone else? Yeah... that's not earning you any brownie points. And then you lay around camp afterwards, complaining to everyone how full you are, and how thirsty that hot dog and pizza and beer made you... while your new-found friends exited the whole experience without getting a single bite of food? Are you cruel, or just stupid? I vote "D": All of the Above.

Anyway, Jonathan got an entire episode just about devoted to him. That should help his ego nicely. In the meantime, I'm thinking that Yul might be catching a bit of Jonathan's "Big Man on Campus" bug. He's much more diplomatic, of course... but I think he may have alarmed his good buddy Becky when he started going off about how he didn't want to piss the members of the jury off too much, because he wanted to be sure to get their votes over whomever he was up against in the final two.

First of all, it's a bit early to be predicting that you'll be in the final two, no matter how many secret immunity idols you have hidden in your knapsack. Secondly, you're chatting with the person you've essentially promised that you're taking with you to the end... and you're telling her how you want to manipulate the jury to be sure you get the votes instead of the person that's with you? If I'm Becky, I'm simultaneously pissed that Yul is already trying to grab at the votes, and concerned that he's yammering on about this as if he doesn't assume that Becky will be in the final two with him. Eather way, I guarantee that that conversation sent red flags up all over for Becky.

So what do I think? I think Yul want to take the dirty rat Jonathan all the way to the end with him, assuming that no one will ever throw a vote Jonathan's way. But if Yul steamrollers over everyone that's been loyal to him in the process, he may find that the check may not get handed over to him quite that easily. Funny thing about people, then often remember the most recent betrayal as opposed to the greatest betrayal. If Yul boots out Becky, Ozzy, and Sundra in order to keep Jonathan around... Yul may end up looking more like the rat in their eyes.

And what do you think? Is Yul going to keep Jonathan around as a human shield to take all the shots fired from the jury? That could make things interesting!

2006-11-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

Aitu wins reward
Aitu wins immunity
Candice on Exile Island
Rebecca voted out 6-1
Jenny voted out 4-2

ADAM:

Well Adam has a new spring in his step now that Candice is back sharing his campfire. I guess it's a good thing that he got rid of Jenny when he did, because she certainly wasn't too happy about how quickly he rejoined forces with his want-to-be girlfriend. Time to circle the wagons and get the tribe to work as a team however, because Candice has a HUGE target on her back and the remaining Aitu is going to make Adam snuggle solo again if they get their way.

BECKY:

(Tribal Immunity)

Well, a bit of seething anger towards a former tribe mate seems to bring out the best in Becky. Not that she wasn't doing her part before, but she's definitely operating as a full member of the team in all the challenges.

CANDICE:

Hey Candice, did you ever see that "Far Side" cartoon with the bear with the target-shaped birthmark? Yeah honeybun... I think that's you. I mean, you had all kinds of courage to step out during the mutiny offering... but you had to know that your abandoned tribemates were going to instantly hate you. Two trips to Exile Island kind of proved that point. Well, you have Adam in your corner. Let's hope you have Jonathan and Parvati and Nate too. Because if those four from Aitu make it to merge, they are going to drive you right off that island, or make it incredibly uncomfortable for you to stay.

JONATHAN:

Well Jonathan, your instincts were right to roll up your sleeves and work like a dog once you arrived as low man on the totem pole at your new tribe. But the thing about you, is eventually you're going to get tired of being the only one working so hard, and you're going to start snapping at everyone again and then they won't like you. And then they'll vote you off. I know it's hard to be their dad and their friend... but this is for a million. You'd better find out a way to carefully walk that line, or they're going to vote the disapproving father-figure right off the island.

NATHAN:

Nate! Dude! You're all alone with all the whitey's! How did that happen? Well, Parvati still digs you, but I think Adam, Candice, and Jonathan are going to be pretty tight. I hate to be the one to point out "Which one of these things is not like the others", but you'd better hope your tribe's luck changes, or that you merge with the more diverse group and they welcome you to their side... because otherwise the odds just aren't in your favor for staying much longer. I know... no one trusts Jonathan. But he's working like crazy around camp, and you aren't exactly challenging him for "hardest worker". You'd better jump to the other side, or start packing your things. Otherwise, you're going to be in the jury box really soon.

OZZY:

(Tribal Immunity)

Ozzy, you just impress the hell out of me. You pretty much carry your team. Not that Yul is some kind of slouch, but it's always the amazing head start that you provide for your team in the challenges that helps them to keep scoring the victories. I personally think you should win this whole thing... but everyone that has depended on you up to this point is going to view you as a threat once the merge happens. So keep reminding everyone how horrible it was for Candice and Jonathan to mutiny and keep the focus off yourself. Then quietly keep winning every challenge until you walk home with the prize.

PARVATI:

Pavarti has always been a little bit of a wild card. She certainly is a big help in all of the challenges, but she is hard to pin down as far as who she's really loyal to. Now that her original tribe has reassembled, minus flaky Flicka, you would think she'd jump back in line with them. But she does love having Nate around, and may not be too hip on tossing him away if they have to make another tribal vote. Either way, she seems pretty safe right now. But she better start thinking out a few steps and decide which way she wants to go to keep herself in this game.

SUNDRA:

(Tribal Immunity)

Sundra has stepped up to the plate ever since they lost Candice and Jonathan in the mutiny. Good thing her team is working so well together, because I'm afraid if they do have to make a vote, that it will be against you. Not that you haven't done your share, but Ozzy and Yul are too valuable to lose, and Yul will never vote against Becky. So you guys keep doing what you're doing... otherwise I'm afraid that you will have to the the sacrificial lamb for Aitu.

YUL:

(Tribal Immunity)

Yul is still a big strong guy... and he sure knows how to flirt with the local ladies! Looks like they all had quite a crush on this guy, given the amount of attention he got! Yul is still in the sweetest spot. If he can make it to merge, he's got strength of his own to do well... plus Becky and Ozzy on his side AND the immunity idol. It's going to be hard to get him off the island. I'm anxious to see what happens if the tribes merge, because up to this point Yul has been such a calm gentlemanly kind of guy. But he's really angry at Candice, and I wonder if he'll have words with her. Maybe he'll just be like my dad, and tell her that he's "very disappointed in her." I always hated that.

2006-11-16T20:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, first of all... I've been a bit out of pocket lately, so haven't exactly been keeping up with the goings-on of our Survivor friends. I'm recovering from a bout of Hepatitis A. Yeah, that's right... Hepatitis. Who knew you could still get such a thing? And I didn't even get to travel anywhere exotic and eat any interesting foreign delicacies either. But I'm finally beginning to feel more like myself, and figured I'd pick up the keyboard and get back into the swing of things.

Anyway, not that you tuned in to hear about all that, but I guess since this is a blog I can mumble to myself now and again. So I'm not so sure I'll be recapping what all went on when I was wrestling with the big bad Hep A, but let's see what's been happening lately...

So kudos to Mark Burnett and Jeffy for mixing it up a little bit the last couple weeks, eh? First a Mutiny (can't say that it was the right thing to do for Candice and Jonathan to jump on that opportunity, but we'll get into that later). Then there was the super extended version of the Jury. And tonight, a double vote-out. Guess the folks back at the office were all sensing that we were getting kind of bored with the same ol' thing every season.

But you know that things were going to go badly when Candice and Jonathan turned their back on their tribe and abandoned ship to join Raro. There is just no way that a move like that isn't going to send red flags up all over on both sides. I mean, even if by some way you get to make it to the final two, what jury member is going to give the big check to someone that clearly will bury their own tribe as soon as the have an opportunity to make things better for themselves? I just don't think that anyone will forget that move, or think of it in a positive light, if it's time to award someone the money.

Now, granted... both Candice and Jonathan are still here. Raro seems happy to have Candice back, like she was a little sister they'd been missing the entire time. And Jonathan, after receiving a much cooler welcome, has wisely been working his ass off since he hit the beach. But the trust just isn't there. Who knows, my crystal ball is in the shop and I have no future-telling talents of my own... maybe this all works out super lovely for them both. Certainly Adam is happy to have Candice back in his camp. They're picking back up right where they left off, and it's sunggle-bunny central on their side of the shelter. And by the looks of next week, there's real romance a happenin'! FINALLY! Don't they know that half of us tune in just to see some sort of romantic/sexual tension form between tribemates? I mean, what is the point of having young attractive folks running around in swimsuits and buffs if there isn't a little flirt going on to entertain us?

But amidst the blooming of young love, Aitu is kicking Raro's butt. Blue-buffed ones... do you not see that your competition has bonded in the face of a common enemy. And thy enemy's name is "Candice"? If there ever is a merge, Candice is going to be sacraficed very early on. Only then will the remaining members of Aitu be able to sleep at night without grinding their teeth in thinly veiled rage. In the meantime, their anger has made them strong. Luckily they haven't been castaway on Cloud City, or they may be lured by the dark side of the Force. (Did I just make a Star Wars reference? I must still be a bit ill... sorry 'bout that.)

I'm thinking there was definitely a Karma thing that came into play when Candice disrupted things when she mutinied (and brought slow-thinking, impulsive Jonathan along with her). They've been beaten mightly by Aitu ever since, and I think only now after their tribe has been shrunk to even less than it was before the mutiny, that things may even out a bit. But now their left with the original Raro tribe, just swap in Nate for Flicka. Hmmm... I wonder how comfortable Nate feels now that he realizes he's the lone "non-whitey" on the tribe? Raro kind of resembles a reversed double-stuft Oreo, don't you think?

Either way, everyone there is Jury bound. The existing members of Aitu will never forgive Candice, and she'll never get a vote from them. Anyone that gets voted out before Candice on Raro will resent that she took their spot, and she'll never get a vote from them. And no one is ever, or was ever, going to vote for Jonathan. So they are just both playing for face time and whatever 15 minutes of fame they will get out of this experience.

So who do I think is going to win at this point? Well, given the recent twists, who knows what might be in store for our little Castaways. But who do I think should win? Ozzy. He's the true Survivor here. Let's just hope that he's given a chance to get to the point of individual immunity, and I think he'll hold his own fate in his hands.

2006-11-09T21:24:00.000-08:00

Standings Before Episode 7

Aitu wins reward
No immunity
Cao Boi voted out 6-2
Cristina voted out 4-2
Nate Kidnapped

ADAM:
(Voted for Cristina)

Gosh Adam, no one seemed very happy with your lack of tact regarding Cristina's irritating personality. I mean, everyone seemed to agree she was irritating, but for some strange reason they all thought you crossed a line when you actually mentioned out loud that she was irritating. I'm not sure I understand that, other than it's just another reason to put a target on someone and keep the attention from themselves. What they should be more concerned about was the fact that Candice was blowing kisses to you all during Tribal Council. They're not going to want to see you two pair back up together come time for a merge, so they may decide to kick your butt to the curb before that can happen.

BECKY:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

Wow, little Becky showed her strength during that challenge, didn't she? She attacked the girls on the other team with everything she had, and was certainly stronger pound for pound than most. And she was wise to steer clear of Cao Boi's mumbo jumbo. Jenny earned her keep this week, both on the strategic and the physical front. Good girl!

BRAD:
(Voted for Jenny)

Brad is a lover, not a fighter. He hates to say a bad word about anyone. That's a very nice characteristic to have, but in this game it's going to get him chewed up and spat out. He was the only person on his tribe to not vote against Cristina, and that may have folks take a second look at him when they get back to camp. If he is going to be easily swayed by every emotional argument, then the rest of his tribe won't feel that they can predict what he's going to do... and they might just get rid of him to eliminate the concern. I don't know... do nice guys finish first in this game?

CANDICE:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

What's with all the blown kisses during Tribal, Candice? Are you taunting, or are you flirting? Either way, you've got Adam's attention... and unfortunately you probably got the attention of everyone else at Tribal Council too. They are going to assume that you two are working together if you keep behaving like that. But on the other hand, you were just fierce in the challenge, and no one can do anything but give you full credit for being hard to beat during that whole competition. I'm glad to see you and your alliance all stuck together. It would have been a quick downward spiral for you if you hadn't.

JENNY:
(Voted for Cristina)

Jenny just plugs along... works hard, fights hard, but is still nice back at camp. I don't know why her name came up at Tribal, other than as just a random alternative for Cristina. I'm glad Jenny stayed, though... it was the right decision. She's much better at this game than Cristina, and the right castaway went home.

JESSICA:
(Voted for Jonathan)

Poor Flicka. I don't think she's made a decision for herself even once. She's always swayed by someone, and then ususally finds that she's still behind the latest news, and just ends up sitting on a limb alone somewhere. She's going to miss Cao Boi, and unfortunately for her, has probably become the next target for her tribe simply because she is so unpredictable. Now is the time to start talking up what a physical threat Ozzy is, because if she doesn't shift the focus off herself, she's going home soon.

JONATHAN:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

Yeah, Jonathan... I have to agree with the other girls around camp. There is something vaguely creepy about you. You certainly have an air of superiority about you. But more than that, you behave as if you aleady know what everyone is up to, and that makes folks uncomfortable. You need to be more of a man of the people I think, as opposed to the "natural leader". You've got a strong alliance right now, but they did waiver a bit regarding you... and next time they might not waiver back in your favor.

NATHAN:
(Kidnapped)

Oh no! Natenapped! I don't know why exactly the Aitu tribe picked Nate to drag over to there side during Tribal, but he certainly enjoyed the vittles. Eat now, and figure it out later is what I always say. You always have to be concerned when you're taken to the other side, and "contaminated" by the other tribe, if your orignal tribemates will welcome you back when you return. As long as you bring lots of juicy gossip back with you, I think you'll be okay.

OZZY:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

Ozzy is the man. He is clearly so superior to everyone else out in this environment, it's just silly. But he shouldn't have tipped his hand so far this early in the game. Although his tribe is happy to partake in all of the yummy fish that he is providing, they know damn well that he's gonig to skyrocket to the top if they let him make it to the merge. You should have reined it back a little bit, big fella. Now everyone knows how powerful and strong you are, and they're just going to want to get rid of you. I truly hope they don't, however... because I'd really like to see how he does. I think he could win this thing.

PARVATI:
(Voted for Cristina)

Parvati kind of flew under the radar this time around. Usually she's bright and bubbly and has the spotlight on her at least at some point during each episode... but we didn't see her much this time. She does a good job of knowing what seems to be going on with how everyone in her tribe is thinking, but hasn't yet been targeted by anyone as a threat. I don't quite know how you're doing it girl, but it's working for you. Keep it up!

REBECCA:
(Voted for Cristina)

I think Rebecca was happy to be rid of Cristina. She may not have been the one that spewed it all out at Tribal Council, but she was certainly one of the ones most bugged by her bossy ways. She's another one that has just stayed off the radar. She's smart, and thinks strategically... but is obviously a good contributor around camp because no one has viewed her as a threat or put a target on her back. I think she's one of the longshots that may go far in this thing. We shall see....

SUNDRA:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

Yeah, Sundra... if you just vowed your alligence to the big alliance in your tribe, you'd better stick right with them for the time being no matter what. You may not trust and like Jonathan, but right now he has your back, and that's worth holding on to. Stick close to the alliance of five that you're in, and only when you get to the point where you have to begin feeding off each other to you bring out the "Jonathan is creepy" trump card.

YUL:
(Voted for Cao Boi)

You know what? I'm not sure if it's editing, or if this is the way he really is... but Yul just seems to get more and more wishy-washy every week. I know the vote didn't go this way, but why he even entertained Cao Boi's crazy plan is beyond me. I mean, it was two of his alliance members going up, in an effor to flush out the immunity idol that HE had! That's just bad all around, but he didn't put a stop to it right away. And he's making the girls start to question Jonathan? Jonathan has his back! You can't mess with that! Well, whatever... in the end he did the right thing. But he sure did enough flipping around in the meantime to make me a little less impressed with him.

2006-10-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

The Standings Before Episode 6

Raro wins reward
Aitu wins immunity
Jonathan on Exile Island
Stephannie voted out 7-1

ADAM:
(Voted for Stephannie)
So if it is Adam’s strategy to just fly under the radar until the final merge, he’s doing one heck of a job. I mean, we see him a little bit… but he’s not sticking his neck out there, or doing anything outrageous. When all the other guys are lying about, he is too. When all the other guys are working hard, he is too. When everyone is going to vote for J.P., he does too. When everyone is going to vote for Stephannie, he does too. I’m not saying it’s a bad strategy, it’s just hard to know how much of it is actually strategy, and how much of it is that he’s just not a very strong player, and only knows how to follow someone else’s lead. This eventually becomes an individual sport though, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if he can step up to the plate by then.

BECKY:
(Tribal Immunity)
Well, Becky is making a career out of being the small light one that they throw about in the challenges. Last week she was dragged through obstacles while shackled to a rope, this week she had to be one of the little ones stepping across the moving stepping stones. But other than that, she sure lays about a lot, reveling in the safety of her alliance. I think she had better offer a little bit more than that, otherwise she’s going to get booted as soon as things get rough. The strongest move she made though was allying with Yul early on. But that alone is not going to get her to the end.

BRAD:
(Voted for Stephannie)
See Adam.

CANDICE:
(Tribal Immunity)
See Becky. But add an air of superiority.

CAO BOI:
(Tribal Immunity)
Wow, this guy is just lucky that his tribe hasn’t been to Tribal Council anytime lately, because he would have been shown the door a long time ago. He really offers next to nothing in the day-to-day activities of the tribe… just non-stop story time, which I think everyone would be happier without. He made everyone at Raro tribe thankful that they live an island away from him, after he gave them a sample of his meandering never-ending yammering… about who knows what. He’s quite the character, but I think his tribe believes they have enough character, and they can do fine without him. Surely he will be the next to go.

CRISTINA:
(Voted for Stephannie)
Girl, your tribe just got rid of someone because they viewed him as bossy, and yet you stepped right into his shoes and started barking orders right where he left off. Are you ignorant??? You are just lucky that Stephannie fell on her sword, AGAIN. Because no one wants to be stranded on a small deserted island with a know-it-all.

JENNY:
(Voted for Stephannie)
I like Jenny. She works hard, keeps her head down, avoids the drama... and yet is pretty observant of what's going on in the tribe around her, and what she should do to keep herself safe. She's going to want to align with one of the guys though, because she's going to need someone in her corner with some physical strength if she makes it to the merge. Psssst. I suggest you sit down with either Adam or Brad. They're both plyable, and seem to like having someone to tell them what to do.

JESSICA:
(Tribal Immunity)
Hey Flicka. I like how you like to jump right in and mix it up a bit, but if you decide to taunt the other tribe during a challenge, you might not what to be the one that ends up letting loose of the rope and sealing your tribe's fate. And what's with this desire to explore this other island, and then discovering that it's the locatoin of the other tribe? Didn't you used to BE part of that tribe, Flicka? Isn't that the island you used to live on? Hon... I know they all kind of look alike, but you've only been on two of them. Nothing run a bell for you before you stumbled on their camp? Man, I hope one of the challenges isn't a memory game. You'll be toast.

JONATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity)
Poor Jonathan... sent back to Exile Island to look for an idol that is no longer there. Kudos to you for announcing it to everyone though. Considering the fact that the guy that has the idol is in your alliance, you maybe should have chatted with him a bit before you announced to everyone the the idol has most likely been found. It's not going to take a genius to figure out that SOMEONE in your alliance probably has it. Ah well... hindsight, blah, blah, blah.

NATHAN:
(Voted for Stephannie)
Nate and Adam were looking kind of cozy during the reward challenge. Clinging on to each other, grabbing at each other... all sweaty and hot. No wonder Brad dropped his weights. But you sure woke up with a renewed work ethic after J.P. got sent home. But it did as you hoped, and got the ladies attention and respect. I think they'll keep you around now... especially Parvati.

OZZY:
(Tribal Immunity)
Poor Ozzy. He's probably the most prepared and physically capable guys out there... and he's stuck in a default alliance of Cao Boi and Flicka??? I'm quite sure this is not how he pictured it going. He needs to get over to that power alliance of four, pledge his loyalty, and make a case for them to trust him and protect him... otherwise he probably won't make it to the merge. And I think this guy will be tough to beat once it comes to individual effort.

PARVATI:
(Voted for Stephannie)
Hmmmm... what to say about Parvati. Well, she seems to be walking the line between the girls and guys of her tribe pretty well. Both sides talk to her, neither side distrusts her. She's got the flirty thing going on with the guys, and the whole "being female" thing going on with the girls. But she doesn't seem to DO a whole lot around camp, does she? I guess that's working for her now, but she kind of seems like a floater, and I don't know if anyone will risk themselves to save her if it comes down to a choice in the near future.

REBECCA:
(Voted for Stephannie)
Rebecca is quiet, observant, and smart. She's playing this game really well so far, and is strategically on top of things. As long as she doesn't do something to draw attention to herself, she seems to have a knack for staying one step ahead of things and keeping herself in a good position. She's got a strong ally in Jenny, and the two of them should not be underestimated.

SUNDRA:
(Tribal Immunity)
Sundra did the smart thing by sticking around camp and getting closer to the Big 4 alliance instead of going on the whole Flicka/Ozzy/Cao Boi boon-doggle. She can float around all she wants after the merge... but if she wants to GET to the merge, she better stick with the other four.

YUL:
(Tribal Immunity)
Yul... last week you were less than stellar in the puzzle challenge, and this week you were the first to drop your load of bricks in the reward challenge. Come on! You've been hyped up to be the strongest all around player in the game, and you're stumbling a bit here. And now, if anyone out there has been paying attention, they have to be assuming that you've got the hidden idol. You're still positioned pretty, but you're not as unbeatable as I originally though.

2006-10-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

Day 12

Raro Tribe

The boys are all up early, nervously brushing their teeth with little bamboo sticks while the girls all sleep in. The boys are anxious... their leader J.P. got voted out the night before. They look like little chipmunks with the sticks in their mouths, gnawing away distractedly as they wonder what they can do to be less vulnerable now that the girls are in the clear majority.

Nate looks at the sleeping girls. "What you ladies sleeping for? I'm not a hater but what they do all day?" Yeah, whatever Nate. Twenty-four hours ago you were lolling about while the ladies swept camp and made breakfast. New morning, new perspective... eh?

So the nervous chipmunk men decide to do something to demonstrate to the ladies how very valuable they are. Brad trots off to catch some fish, Nate goes and enthusiastically gathers some firewood, and Adam goes out and sweeps clean the rocks. What? Wait.... oh, he goes searching for some crabs. Whatever, he looked like a French Maid there for a minute, dusting off the rock face. Whatever Adam, just keep moving and look busy.

The girls stretch awake, drink their coffee, read the paper. They giggle at how hard the guys are working. That's right guys... you're showing THEM. Just keep working your fingers to the bone and show those girls who is boss.

Aitu Tribe

Sundra, Becky and Candice lounge on the beach catching some rays, and inspecting each other’s underarms for growth. Oh what they wouldn’t do for a razor right about now. Cao Boi grumbles about the lazy girls, and threatens that they’ll be going home soon if they don’t start contributing. But we all know that Cao Boi is going to do something irritating every hour on the hour and keep the target firmly placed on his back… so he can grumble all he wants, but it probably won’t amount to much.

It’s tree mail time, and it’s something about strained spicy pears. Oh wait, no… it’s about pairs straining to win spices. Whatever. The survivors brush the sand off their butts and trudge off to the challenge location, a big circle area that’s been cleared in the middle of one of the islands for the challenge de jour. For some reason I keep wondering how they cleared all that land into such a precise circle shape. It’s sad when I’m more interested in the behind-the-scenes prep work for the challenge, as opposed to the challenge itself.

Reward Challenge

Jeff is waiting there for the Survivors, wearing that same goofy straw cowboy hat that’s beginning to look a little worse for wear. Far be it for me to give fashion advice, but he should at least try donning a Crocodile Dundee or Indiana Jones inspired hat, as opposed to the wicker cowboy look. Just my two-cents.

The tribes arrive, and Aitu gasps with pleasant surprise to find out that physically strong J.P. got voted out of Raro at the last tribal council. You know they’re all wondering, “Why the hell…?” but then shrugging their shoulders and figuring that Raro’s loss is their gain.

So here’s the challenge. Something new for once! Each tribe must break down into three pairs, and each pair must stand on a box with one arm around each other, and the other arm holding a rope with a hook on the end. Every two minutes, members of the opposing tribe will grab a pair of 5-pound weights, and load them on whichever pair they would like. The tribe with the last pair standing, without dropping their weights, wins reward. And Jeff… what is today’s reward? Why, it’s additional fishing supplies, spices, and wine! The Survivors all do the happy dance when they realize they may be getting wine tonight. We viewers get happy too, because there are few things more entertaining on this show than tipsy castaways. Also, as usual, the winning tribe will get to pick someone from the losing tribe to go to “there ain’t no idol there no more” Island.

The tribes strategize for a moment, and pick their pairs. For Aitu, the weight-bearing pairs will be Yul & Jonathan, Sundra & Candice, and Ozzy & Flicka. For Raro, the pairs are Nate & Adam, Rebecca & Stephannie, and Cristina & Brad. That leaves Cao Boi and Becky to be the weight loaders for Aitu, and Parvati and Jenny for Raro.

The challenge begins, and Raro spreads the weight around, while Aitu targets Nate & Adam to carry all of the weight. During the waiting periods between each new load of weights, the tribes start heckling each other. Flicka, “roller derby is as much a mental game as a physical one” starts first when Nate says to his tribe, “They’ll be wine tonight!” And Flicka, ever the clever girl says, “They’ll be whine-ING!” Everyone laughs and mutters about what a harsh comment that was. What? That’s clever and harsh? Was that not the most obvious comment ever? No matter… everyone is now in awe of Flicka and her smart mouth. She blows kisses to the crowd.

Time passes, weight is distributed, intense dramatic music is played… suddenly, for no good reason that I can see, Yul lets go of his rope and he and Jonathan, the strongest pair for Aitu, are out of the competition. Yul, honey…! It’s holding on to a rope, that’s all! You’re an “ultimate fighter”, you play water polo… but you can’t hold on to 30 pounds of weight? I’m so disappointed in you. Sit down. You’re in time out.

Rebecca and Stephanie then drop their weight (surprising no one) and now Raro is down a pair as well. Sundra starts struggling, and Candice, her partner, tries to encourage her to keep holding on… but she gives up and lets the weight drop. Candice, clearly forgetting that morning’s earlier bonding experience over armpits, looks clearly disappointed and annoyed and doesn’t offer the token, “It’s okay, you did your best,” that Sundra is hoping for. Instead, Candice flops down with thinly veiled disgust to await the end of the competition. This leaves Ozzy and Flicka alone to compete for Aitu.

Flicka decides this would be a good time to flaunt her heckling techniques some more, and starts taunting Cristina who is showing signs of weakening. “Ohhh, she’s gonna drop it, I see her drop it… na, na, na-na, na, na….” Cristina replies with, “Mind over matter.” And Flicka, obviously drunk with the power of her own ranting responds, “The power of the mind is a dangerous place to wander.”

WHAT???

It doesn’t matter… it’s time for more weight, and with only one place to go for Aitu, Flicka suddenly silences once the new weight is applied and she herself starts struggling mightily. Over for Raro, Nate and Adam are struggling while holding 30 pounds each, and they start grabbing at each other to try and anchor themselves better. There’s grabbing and groping and grunting and sweating… and it might be kind of erotic if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s Nate and Adam.

Suddenly, over on the Aitu side of things… Flicka, weakened by all of that taunting, is losing grip of her rope. She struggles and squeals, and tries to get a better grip. The music builds, Flicka strains… and OH NO! She lets go of the rope. Sorry Flick. All talk and no holdy-the-ropey, spells a loss for your tribe.

Raro wins reward, and gets to send someone to Exile Island. For whatever reason, they decide to send back someone that has already gone, and they pick Jonathan. Jonathan gives a wave, and wanders off, and then Raro does the happy dance around their newly acquired spicy strained pears.

2006-10-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

Day 13

Raro Tribe

The tribe is slow to wake, most likely due to the two empty wine bottles that are lying about camp. We didn’t get to see any stumbling or bumbling castaways, so they must have all been nice well-mannered drunks. Adam suddenly shows up, back from an early fishing expedition. He has… an octopus stuck to his foot? Yep, yep… yes he does. The thing is holding on for dear life, despite getting poked more than a couple times with a fishing spear. Somehow the poor guy is finally removed from around Adam’s ankle, and now everyone knows that octopus will be the main feature of today’s menu.

Cristina jumps into action, quickly ordering everyone around to gather things so she can begin creating a five-star meal. “YOU, go get me coconut. YOU, go boil some water. YOU, go get me some crabs.” Did Cristina not see last week’s episode? This tribe really has no tolerance for pushy people.

Jenny, just like last week, is the first to squawk. She reluctantly helps wash off a knife and cutting board at the edge of the water, as Cristina squats down clean the octopus next to her. Jenny heads back to camp as Cristina, for some unknown reason, submerges the pan containing the octopus in the shallow water… and as it tends to happen on the beach, a small wave almost immediately comes in, and washes half the octopus meat out into the ocean as it recedes.

Cristina immediately starts crying for help. “Help, help! The octopus is washing away!!” Brad comes down to try and help her retrieve some of the scattered pieces, while Cristina tries to tell him that she thought that Jenny was right there to help, and that’s why things when so badly. Ummmm… so the fact that Jenny wasn’t right there is the reason you decided to dunk the octopus meat in the water? So, Jenny was supposed to stop you from doing something stupid like that? Is that your point?

Adam goes down to assess the damage, and see how much of the Nike-sucking octopus they have lost. Again, Cristina is pointing fingers everywhere but herself… “Uh, I thought Jenny was right here, I couldn’t do this by myself… blah, blah, blah.” They managed to get all the meat back, but then Adam wandered back up to camp to tell the rest of the tribe what happened and how Cristina was trying to blame Jenny for the fiasco. The reaction, as you might imagine, was not positive. Almost immediately, you can tell the individual tribe mates are trying to determine if Cristina spells her name with a “C” or a “K”, and if she includes an “h” in her name… because they want to get it right when they write her bossy, octopus-dropping name down at the next Tribal Council.

Aitu Tribe

Our happy campers wake up and start wandering about camp. Flicka has decided it’s a good day to explore, and tries to recruit others to go with her. Ozzy is in, because he feels their island is getting “short on resources” and that they could use a fresh boost of supplies from another location. But when Yul is asked, he replies that he thinks he’ll spend the day trying to catch chickens. Ozzy asks Candice, but she is very, very, busy braiding her hair, and also turns them down. Cao Boi of course is going… because Cao Boi is up for anything. Sooooo… it’s the strong trusting/respecting alliance of four staying put, the three stooges Flicka, Cao Boi, and Ozzy going on an explore, and then Sundra who stands alone. The stooges approach Sundra to see if she would like to join them. “You want to come? It will be four of us,” Cao Boi asks. Wow… this is like totally one of those conversations with such a dual significance. Because, like, there’s the four that are staying that are in an alliance, and then there’s, like, the three that are going that are like in an alliance… and then there’s like Sundra, who’s like TOTALLY in between the two alliances! Whoooooa. Like, if she stays or goes can, like, totally signify not only what she wants to do today, but like how she’s probably going to ally herself and like vote. Coooool.

Sundra is no dummy, and stays put with the strong and smart alliance, and lets the other three toddle off on their adventure.

Milliseconds after the tree stooges leave, Yul approaches Sundra and asks if she would consider allying with them. Sundra, again – no dummy, agrees. And now the strong trusting/respecting alliance of four have their fifth, and her word that she will not waiver and will vote with them going forward. Yeah. Like that’s gonna happen.

In the meantime, Ozzy, Flicka, and Cao Boi row across the lagoon to the mysterious “Other Island”. Ozzy finds some funky mushrooms, and informs the other two that they are very useful for first aid, and gathers some to take with them. Hmmm… this first aid isn’t administered through smoking, is it Ozzy? We’d better keep an eye on him next time he “cuts his finger.”

The trio are excited to be the first to explore this desolate, unknown island. They trek through the bush, look around, and discover… the Raro Tribe! That’s right, you guys paddled across the way only to stumble across the other tribe’s camp. And hey, Flicka… didn’t you used to live over here? I mean, didn’t you spend the first 10 days or so right here on this very island? Did you pay no attention at all while paddling home, and notice the proximity of your “old” island to your “new” island? No? Nothin, huh? Well, regardless of how it came about, there are the dregs of the Aitu tribe showing up unannounced on Raro’s beach. The members of Raro are not happy.

Adam might as well beat his chest and pee on all the trees the way he reacts to the visitors invading his territory. The invaders don’t notice or don’t care. They squat down at the campfire and make themselves at home. Cao Boi, in a very unexpected turn of events, starts on a story-telling jag. Brad and Jenny suffer flashbacks, and the rest of the tribe gets their first introduction to Cao Boi’s ability to talk forever and say nothing. When everyone’s eyes are glazed after untold hours of non-stop yammering, the Raro tribe finally maneuvers the chatting to a close. As Cao Boi says his goodbyes, he decides to go for the gold ring, and ask the Raro tribe if they would be willing to share some of the spices they won in the prior day’s challenge. Raro collectively looks at him as if he has gone mad, and Adam quickly speaks up and tells him that they worked mighty hard for them spicy pears, and they think they ought to just hold on to them. If Cao Boi was truly smart, at this point he would have plunked himself right back down and started up a new story. Those guys would have given him anything to get him to leave. But Cao Boi doesn’t and so there is no bargaining chip… and therefore no spices. Ozzy, Flicka and Cao Boi paddle back home with nothing to show for their efforts but a few magic mushrooms.

Exile Island

Jonathan is back on Exile Island. The last time he was here, there actually was still an idol buried somewhere in the sand… but it’s long gone now. All he has is the handy-dandy notebook full of clues to an idol that’s now safely hidden in Yul’s pocket.

Regardless, Jonathan takes a look at the latest clue to see if it will help him out:

To find what you seek,
a charm of great worth,
get in the right spot
and look deep in the earth.

Is it just me, or was this the least challenging “hidden idol” ever? I mean, they practically marked a big ol’ X on the ground with a sign that said “Dig Here”. Jonathan should be feeling dopey that he didn’t find this thing on his first visit. But now that it’s been completely spelled out for him, he’s off to do some digging.

There’s Jonathan, in a big hole in the ground, throwing sand over his shoulder. Ahhh.. there’s night vision of Jonathan, in a big hole in the ground, throwing sand over his shoulder. There’s Jonathan, the next morning, in a big hole in the ground, throwing sand over his shoulder. JONATHAN!!! It ain’t there no mo! All gone! It go bye-bye!

Ah, whatever… you’ll figure it out sooner or later.

Day 14

Immunity Challenge

Jeff is there, waiting for the castaways at the site of the latest hamster maze that has been built for them. Wha… what’s this? Jeff is wearing a ball cap now instead of his silly straw cowboy hat. Jeff, have you been reading my blog?

Jonathan returns, and after some pointed questions by Jeff, tells that he looked all over for that idol where he thought it should be and couldn’t find it, and that he’s sure it’s not there anymore. Yul grimaces, and wishes that Jonathan would shut his pie hole.

Jeff then begins explaining the elaborate set-up that the survivors will soon be racing through. First the tribes have to put together tree stepping poles that will be used to transport two of their tribe members between two platforms in the water. Once both are across, the entire tribe must climb on top of the second platform, and once they are all there they can jump back in the water and swim to a third very small tower further out in the water. The first team to get all of the tribe members up on the top of the tower, with both feet on or above the top deck of the tower wins. The teams get all twittery and anxious, and then with much ta-doo, Jeff screams “GO!” and they are on their way.

Everyone races to the beach and starts assembling the stepping poles. Aitu is in the water first with their poles, and Raro follows shortly after. Jenny starts across the poles for Raro, while Flicka starts making it across for Aitu. The teams plod through, inching the girls along to the next platform, and then run back to get their second girls. Raro starts the second leg with a bit of a lead, as Parvati starts across. Aitu goes back to get Becky. Aitu makes up some ground by increasing the distance between the poles, and both girls hit the second platform at about the same time. Parvati his it for Raro, and then all the rest of the tribe clambers up the second platform, and then leaps off… splashing and swimming for the tower. Becky hits the platform for Raro, and they scramble up and down to close the small gap they are trailing by.

Raro starts climbing up the tower, and gets everyone to the top, but fall off into the water before everyone can get their feet up on deck. Aitu is now leading, and they squeeze up to the top deck one by one, while bunching on to one another in an effort to keep their balance. It looks like some twisted erotic version of Circ du Soleil, with arms and bodies and legs all entwined on top of this itty, bitty deck. Finally, the final foot pulls up and finds a spot for Aitu, and they win immunity.

Now that they all know each other so intimately, the members of Aitu launch off the tower, and then jump all over one another in the water in celebration. Raro collapses off the tower after their failed attempt, and just look wet and miserable while standing in the water. Sorry guys… but if it makes you feel better, this was one of the more entertaining challenges to watch for those of us here at home.

Raro Tribe

After woefully trudging back to camp after their loss, the tribemates all check in with each other and confirm that they are going to vote out bossy Cristina after the whole octopus fiasco. She is annoying everyone, and they’ve all decided they’ve had enough.

Nate and Stephannie go to get water, and check in with each other to make sure their vote is the same. Stephannie confirms with Nate that she’s down with voting out Cristina, and is just happy that it’s not her or Nate. And then, stupid Stephannie, makes some goofy comment about how she could easily see herself going home and getting some mashed potatoes and gravy. Wha…? It’s a strange comment, but Stephannie is a strange girl… and it should have just stopped there. But noooo…. Nate goes back to camp, and tells Adam and Brad how Stephannie was wishing for the chance to go home and get some taters and gravy. Now, that’s not exactly what she said, but it’s a reasonable story, and they all start jumping on the bandwagon about how Stephannie has obviously already given up mentally, and should be sent home. Hell… the week before she took the blame for losing the immunity challenge, and told her tribe to send her home, but they didn’t. And now, they clearly had decided to send someone else home, and then Stephannie piped up and said it wouldn’t break her heart to go home and enjoy some real food.

Hmmm… Stephannie may have not meant for it to come out that way, but at the same time she is clearly not ready to ride this pony all the way to the finish. So whether she meant for it to go this way or not, the target slips off of Cristina’s back, and positions itself on Stephannie.

Brad starts telling his version of what he heard from Nate to Parvati. Parvati, ever the direct one, goes right to the source and asks Stephannie if she wants to go home. Stephannie kind of laughs it off, and just says things were taken out of context… and tells Parvati that she does want to stay. However, she delivers it with zero conviction… so I’m thinking that Stephannie is dreaming of mashed potatoes again even as Parvati is trying to help her. Yeah, bossy Cristina… looks like it’s your lucky day.

Tribal Council

The parade of torches arrives, and they all take a seat around the fire.

Jeff: Adam, your tribe totally sucked in today’s challenge. You’ve lost two in a row, you talentless goofs. What do you have to say for yourself?

Adam: Get off my back, man! We’re doing fine. We communicate really well. Just today Nate was telling me how Stephannie begged him to take her home and cover her in mashed potatoes. I mean, the communication lines in this tribe are OPEN. We’re cool.

Jeff: Brad, you seem to kiss everyone’s ass equally. Do you have no pride, man?

Brad: Everyone deserves a good ass-kissing now and again. It’s my job to spread the love. Why don’t you bend over, Jeff… and I’ll give you a little something too.

Jeff: Stephannie, why don’t you have any friends? And why the hell do you spell your name with two n’s?

Stephannie: I choose to have no friends, Jeff. Friends are useless baggage, and they just get between me and my mashed potatoes. I’d just as soon that the world be wiped of all human life. Uh, I mean… all human life except for you all. All human life, except for you eight lovely people. You all haven’t voted yet… have you?

Jeff: Whatever, Steph… what about the n’s?

Stephannie: Oh, I just do that to screw with the people that put me in their blogs, so it makes their spell check go apeshit.

Jeff: Nate, you all got rid of J.P. last week because he was bossy. We’ve had cameras on you guys 24/7 and there appears to be a new Bossy Betsy in your camp. Why don’t you confront her now and make her feel really uncomfortable?

Nate: Cristina is a bossy bitch. She treats all of us like her little deputies, and makes her fetch her slippers and pipe and crap like that. We hate her. We talk about how much we hate her every day. We just didn’t tell her because we didn’t want to hurt her feelings… but now that you asked, Jeff, I must say it as it is. Cristina is a pushy bossy know-it-all, and she makes crappy coconut octopus soup. There, I’ve said it.

Jeff: Cristina, do you feel like crap now?

Cristina: (sob, sob, sniffle)

Jeff: Adam, do you think your tribe has been completely honest here today?

Adam: Well, if we’re being completely honest, I have to say that I really enjoyed the challenges the last few days where Nate and I have had to grope each other in order to “win one for the team”. I’m thinking that Nate and I should get pinned now, because we’ve certainly gotten to first base with each other, and are actually probably rounding second. Oh yeah, and Cristina totally is a bossy bitch. But I thought she knew that.

Jeff: Rebecca, since we’re all being honest, do you have anything to say?

Rebecca: Yeah, I steal things from the set of “The View” all the time. If you were to go into my apartment, you’d find tons of stuff from make-up and wardrobe, one of Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s homemade immunity headdresses, some leftover girdles from Star Jones, and one of Barbara Walter’s Emmys. Oh yeah, and Cristina is totally a bossy bitch.

Jeff: Fair enough. Time to vote.

Survivor music. Trudging to the voting area. Writing names down. Saying “it’s not personal,” even though it is….

Okay, time to count the votes.

Stephannie
Stephannnnnie
Stephannnnnnnnnie
Stephannnnnnnnnnnnnie
Stephannnnnnnnnnnnnnieeee
Stephannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnieeeeeeeee
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Kristina

Jeff: Okay, you all clearly hate Cristina, but have decided to vote Stephannie out instead. Sucks to be you Stephannie. Sucks to be you Cristina. You all can head back to camp.

2006-10-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

Standings Before Episode 4

Aitu wins reward
Aitu wins immunity
Adam on Exile Island
J.P. voted out 7-2

ADAM:
(Voted for J.P.)
Adam got sent off to Exile Island, where there was no hidden idol. He didn’t get any extra camera time, because who wants to watch someone did around for an item that’s not there anymore? And he didn’t even get to be exempt from Tribal Council. His luck just isn’t what it used to be. He got so little camera time, that we didn’t even see how he found out about the J.P. vote to climb on board. I don’t know, Adam… you seem to be fading into the background a bit. I’m beginning to wonder if you’re still in this game.

BECKY:
(Tribal Immunity)
Becky is happy that her alliance with Yul, Candice, and Jonathan is still strong and intact. Plus she’s got Yul looking after her with his secretly acquired bonus immunity idol. This girl is in good shape. But she was still the one with the target on her back from the non-alliance folks in her tribe, so they don’t seem to think she has a lot of value. She’d better prove them wrong by kicking things up a gear in cast there is dissention in the ranks in the near future.

BRAD:
(Voted for J.P.)
Well Brad… look at you! You had no problem turning on your bud, J.P., and I assume convincing Adam to do the same. Well this kind of puts an end to our romance watch, however. If you two were pairing up at all, I would think that this vote put an end to it in more ways than one. But in terms of the game, you should be sitting well. The girls trust you, and the only one that wasn’t with you on this vote was Nate. And Nate has bigger things to worry about, now that he’s suddenly found himself out on a limb by himself.

CANDICE:
(Tribal Immunity)
Candice came home from Exile Island without the idol, and with her tribe suddenly asking her pointed questions about why she thinks she was sent away from the danger of Tribal Council. That wasn’t exactly the welcome home she was looking for. She better reassure her alliance of Yul, Becky, and Jonathan that she’s not somehow trying to play both sides… because she’s going to need them. The rest of her tribe seems to inherently distrust her, and by the look of the previews she’s not going to be impressing them any more next week.

CAO BOI:
(Tribal Immunity)
Cao Boi, you do get some stupid ideas, don’t you? Your tribe has more fish than they can eat, and you decide to climb a tree looking for eggs “just because”. Well, I’m glad the baby bird incident got your attention, and you realized the error of your ways. Let’s just hope that mama bird got right back on that nest and everything turned out fine… because I don’t think you impressed anyone with that whole deal. I think your erratic ways keep you on everyone’s radar as the next potential target to be voted out. You better hope that your team keeps winning challenges and stays away from Tribal, because otherwise I think you’ll be going home.

CRISTINA:
(Voted for J.P.)
Cristina just kind of always goes with the numbers. It’s currently keep her there week to week, but she’s never going to win a million this way. She’s looking for everyone else to look out for her and direct her what to do. Right now with some many people milling about, it’s not been that big of a deal. But if she wants to make it to the merge and beyond, she better start being a lead player in this game instead of an extra.

JENNY:
(Voted for J.P.)
Jenny was quick to realize that Rebecca had a strong point when she suggested the power play for the Raro ladies. She is pretty good at looking at the right moves to make for the long term, but at least to this point had keep the target off her own back. Now that the ladies have numbers, they won’t be picked off one by one by the guys. But Jenny better show some strength in the challenges if she wants people willing to keep her along for the long haul.

JESSICA:
(Tribal Immunity)
Wow, what a difference a week makes! No Tribal Council means no tough decisions for Flicka this time around. She’d better decide though if she wants to side with Jonathan and company in the future though, because that alliance has the strength in the tribe, and she’s may need them in order to stay around. She doesn’t shy away from hard work though, and I think that’s going to gain her approval from the tribe in general. Don’t underestimate the value of a strong work ethic.

JONATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity)
Who knew Jonathan had such a soft heart? He almost started crying when the baby bird got ejected from his nest, and was the one that seemed to be the most concerned that it get returned. Maybe he should show that soft side a little more to the rest of the tribe, and he might gain more trust from the tribe members that aren’t in his alliance. They still need one more on their side to have a clear majority in any upcoming visits to Tribal, and he’s got to be perceived as a little less manipulative and a little more honest for the rest of the tribe to want to work with him.

NATHAN:
(Voted for Stephannie)
Well, Nate sure didn’t see the vote going the way that it did. Now the only other person that voted the way he did is off the island, and Nate’s sitting alone wondering what happened. For his sake, hopefully the tribe will realize they can’t afford to lose anymore muscle… but with the girls in the majority, who knows what will happen. He better snuggle up to Parvati for comfort and safety, and to be in on the decisions next time instead of finding out about them at Tribal Council.

OZZY:
(Tribal Immunity)
Well, Ozzy may be a better player than I initially gave him credit for. Despite getting burned at last week’s Tribal Council, he gave 100% to his tribe in both challenges, and was a big part of why they won both times. Not to mention, he’s keeping them well fed by catching a ton of fish back at camp. He may want to let the twist in the wind and fend for themselves after turning on him, but he obviously realized he’d be on the next vote out if he chose to act like that. This guy is a strong player, and as long as he works with the team until the merge, he can easily be one of those standing in the end when it becomes an individual game.

PARVATI:
(Voted for J.P.)
I’m not sure Parvati is positioned very well in her tribe. She’s obviously viewed as the least trustworthy by the girls, and she’s tightest with the one guy that was left twisting in the wind. Nate can’t be happy with her, the girls have them at the bottom of their list… and unless she starts cuddling up with Adam or bonding with Brad, she doesn’t have anyone really watching her back. And our last remaining romance ember, the potential with her and Nate, most likely got cooled beyond repair when she changed her vote and didn’t let Nate know. No tribal romances? This season is just SO disappointing.

REBECCA:
(Voted for J.P.)
Rebecca is one of the smart ones. She saw it was going to be now or never in terms of mobilizing the girls, and she just made it happen. And she was able to get everyone swayed with enough momentum, that they brought Brad and Adam over with them. At the same time, she doesn’t seem to be ruffling anyone’s feathers. She’s just seeing what the right moves are to make, and bringing her girls along with her. I hope she makes it to the merge, because I think she’ll be a strong competitor til the end.

STEPHANNIE:
(Voted for J.P.)
Okay, so Stephannie retracted her “I’m the weakest link” speech after she gave it, and ended up staying on thanks to fancy footwork by Rebecca and friends… but the fact that she even gave that speech and encouraged folks to just send her home, means she actually deserves to go. I totally understand Rebecca’s move to protect the girls’ numbers, but keeping Stephannie around actually weakens the tribe and everyone knows it. Stephannie seems to have a good heart, but I just don’t think it’s in this game to the extent that it is for some of the others. She should go home.

SUNDRA:
(Tribal Immunity)
Sundra’s tribe was safe this week, and so therefore was she. However, she’s in a vulnerable position, and doesn’t have a lot of security in her favor the next time the tribe visits Tribal. The best thing she can do is to encourage more crazy and irritating behavior from Cao Boi to keeps everyone’s sights set on him. Otherwise, Sundra is outside of the strong alliance within her tribe, and she’s not viewed as a big contributor or a strong player. She’ll be lucky to make it to the merge.

YUL:
(Tribal Immunity)
Yul has an extra insurance policy in his back pocket in the form of the immunity idol, as well as what he hopes is a strong alliance within his tribe. As has been true since day one, he’s one of the strongest out there, and the one best positioned to win. The one thing that puts him at risk, is that he’s very trusting, and very loyal… and if anyone should start perceiving him as a threat and then turn on him, I doubt he’ll ever see it coming. But once again… he’ll have secret immunity on his side if that happens. So back to my original comment… he is the one best positioned to win.

2006-10-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

J.P’s Exit Interview

On Friday’s “The Early Show”, J.P. was interviewed about being voted off of Survivor.

They showed some clips of him lounging around the camp, burping, napping, and telling others what to do. J.P. laughed as he watched the clips. He admitted that all of that happened, but it wasn’t exactly an accurate portrayal of how much he truly did around camp.

When asked if he was surprised when he got voted out, he laughed and said he was totally surprised, and thought the tribe was set to vote out Stephannie. He said he didn’t necessarily want Stephannie to go, but he agreed to it because she identified herself as the weakest link, and it was the group consensus that she should go. (Until they changed their mind and decided to vote for him instead, of course.)

They then asked him about last week’s “Secret Scene” that was shown during Cecilia’s exit interview. In that scene it showed J.P. and Cecilia flirting, and snuggling up together at night. He was asked if he and Cecilia had something going on.

J.P. said, “With all that curvaceous goodness, how could I not flirt? She was the epitome of a hot, sexy, Latina!”

Hmmmm… what does this do to all of the J.P. & Brad dating rumors? I guess J.P. is an equal-opportunity kind of guy.

Now it was time for J.P.’s “Secret Scene”, and we hoped it would shed some light on these Brad/J.P. rumors. But alas, no… it was only footage of J.P. limping around, because I guess he has some serious problems with his feet. They had got cut up pretty badly and had become infected, and he was having to wrap them in cool leaves to soothe them. Poor J.P. I guess he’s happy to be home now where he can wear warm, dry, cotton socks for his footsies.

J.P. said that playing Survivor was an opportunity of a lifetime, and he would always remember it. Then he gave a shout out to his volleyball club back in Long Beach, and he was sent on his way. See ya, J.P.!

2006-10-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

Night 8

Aitu Tribe

The tribemates shuffle back to camp after voting Cecilia out at Tribal Council. Ozzy is quiet, not saying much… while Yul whispers to Sundra about how much the whole experience sucked. I mean, that’s nice to say an all, Yul… but it couldn’t have sucked that much since it went right according to your plan, right? Okay, just checking.

Later around the fire, Yul finds a hermit crab and offers it to Ozzy as a snack. Yul, you’re a smart guy, and I have all the confidence in the world in you. But is this your version of a piece offering? A hermit crab? As a midnight snack? Is this a valuable currency around camp that those of us at home are just not aware of?

Ozzy unemotionally turns him down. “No, I don’t like hermit crabs.” Which means, “No, I don’t like YOU, Yul… and I don’t want your stupid hermit crab snack or anything else you’re offering.”

Ozzy tells us that he’s upset, and feels like an outsider. Here all these people have moved into the camp that he and the original members of Aitu created, and as a big thanks for all that work… they voted the only other remaining member of that tribe out during their first joint Tribal Council. Ozzy is pouting… but very quietly, and only on the inside where no one can see. But he tells us that he doesn’t feel like playing with these people anymore; and he doesn’t want to find food for them any more; and he wished they never came to his island. Oh, the good ol’ days… when the only person he had to worry about was Billy.

Day 9

Aitu Tribe

Candice returns from Exile Island, waving from the front of the boat like a Homecoming Queen on a parade float. She tells everyone that she didn’t find the idol, but she must have found a pack of gum somewhere because she’s annoyingly chewing on something as she chats with her tribe.

Flicka immediately asks her why she thinks the other tribe sent her to Exile Island. Candice chews her cud, and says she figured it was because she was the youngest. Flicka pushes a little bit more, and suggests that maybe it was Parvati’s and Adam’s idea to send her there, to save her from being voted out at Tribal Council.

Candice starts stammering, saying, “Gosh, these are good questions… I didn’t even think of any of that, because I didn’t have time.” Really? You mean with being banished alone to a deserted island for two days and all… you didn’t have a spare moment? Interesting. Good comeback though… I’m sure you settled everyone’s suspicions with that.

Raro Tribe

The women are busily cleaning up camp… fluffing the sand, making palm frond curtains for the non-existent windows, and baking mud pies. The men are over by the fire, reclining, burping, and scratching themselves. It all reminds me of my family on Thanksgiving Day. Parvati is upset about the situation, but the guys could care less. They feel like they are all extremely safe because the girls all need them around to move rocks, and the guys are all in a strong alliance and will watch each other’s back. The most confident (and therefore laziest) guy of the bunch is J.P. He is absolutely, positively sure that he’s in a good spot. Those of us that have watched all previous 12 seasons of Survivor now know who is going home tonight.

Reward Challenge

It’s challenge time. Hooray, it’s challenge time! What will these goofy Survivors have to do next? It’s yet another previously-used challenge, where two tribe mates are clipped to a rope that is woven in, around, over, and under several obstacles, and the rest of the tribe must not-so-gently maneuver them through said obstacles to the end of the course. Once there, one tribe member must swim out to a buoy, and dive down and retrieve a huge decoder wheel that he must bring back so the teams can decode a “Survivor-related” message. The first team to finish and solve the puzzle correctly wins blankets and pillows.

The Aitu tribe chooses Becky and Candice as their rag dolls to throw about, while Raro chooses Cristina and Jenny. Jeff fires the gun, waves the flag, or whatever he does to signify the beginning of the challenge, and the teams are off. The girls get dragged, pushed, and thrown through the various obstacles. Raro’s strong rock-carrying men initially get a good start, but soon everyone gets tangled up in rope. Aitu catches up, and then passes them, and then sends Ozzy into the water to retrieve the decoder wheel. Raro limps through the challenge, but are far behind by the time they get their super-secret decoder ring.

Back at the puzzle table, genius Yul is less helpful then expected while deciphering the message, but eventually they sort it all out and figure out the message, “Last Castaways Back Cast One Away,” while Raro is still stuck trying to make sense of it all. Blankets and pillows for Aitu! Raro on the other hand loses the challenge, and loses one of its members to Exile Island. However this time the exiled person will be back in time for the immunity challenge, and will not be exempt from Tribal Council. Adam is the lucky duck chosen for the honor, and the rest of the Survivors trudge back to their camps while Adam is whisked away to Exile Island. We get no additional footage of Adam on the island however, because the idol isn’t out there any more, so who the hell cares?

Aitu Tribe

The victorious tribe returns, happy about their win in spite of Raro’s greater physical strength. Despite the threat he made to do otherwise, Ozzy is out fishing again, and gathering food for the tribe. He tells us how he feels secure because he is the biggest provider for the tribe, and surely they will keep him around because of that. Uhhhh… this is like the announcer’s curse in sports. As soon as you utter those words, you are destined to be voted out almost immediately. I’m surprised Jeff doesn’t show up on the spot, extinguish Ozzy’s torch, and say, “The tribe has spoken.” Really people… NEVER admit out loud that your tribe will certainly keep you around because you are the food provider. I little target appears on your back instantaneously as soon as the words leave your mouth.

Raro Tribe

The losing team shuffles home, still stunned that they lost despite their superior physical prowess. Everyone is a little shaken, except for J.P. who creates a Lazy-Boy from some driftwood, leans back, and starts telling everyone else what they should be doing around camp while he rests. J.P. is obviously more and more confident that he is a natural born leader, and in no danger of pissing everyone else off by his “do less – delegate more” approach to things. J.P. is obviously wrong.

That night, Parvati sidles up to Nate and asks him if the guys are all in an alliance together. Nate tells her that they are, and that it is pretty tight. Parvati starts telling him about her concerns with J.P. bossing everyone about, but Nate tells her that they should leave him be… and that he will look out for Parvati. Nate then tells us, as if we didn’t already know, that Parvati is hot and he has to watch himself… because he’ll start making decisions based on how hot she is instead of what’s right for him in the game. My gosh, we can only hope! This season needs some romance or something to spice it up!

2006-10-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Day 10

Aitu Tribe

Despite the fact that the tribe is rolling in fish as a result of Ozzy’s spectacular fishing skills, Cao Boi sees a bird’s nest in a tree and decides he’s in the mood for eggs. He skitters up the tree, and then pokes the bottom of the next to knock the nest and it’s contents out of the tree. (So the eggs can fall to the ground and break? Has he actually thought this through?) But to the horror of Cao Boi, as well as Jonathan that is looking on, and the entire viewing audience… the nest doesn’t contain any eggs, but instead a brand-new just-born baby bird.

Jonathan just about cries when sees what has happened, and runs over to retrieve the bird and cuddle it in his hand. Thank GOODNESS that Cao Boi actually feels horrible about what has happened, (given his track record, you never know what he’s going to think about things), and vows to make it right. They determine that the baby is still alive and okay, so Cao Boi skitters back up the tree, and Jonathan hands him the nest with the baby inside, and Cao Boi puts it back in place… much to the joy of the mother bird that has been beside herself since this whole fiasco started. Cao Boi crawls back down… a quieter, humbler, nail salon manager. The floating target slips off of Ozzy’s back, and settles on Cao Boi’s.

Immunity Challenge

The tribes arrive to find Jeff waiting for them, in his sporty straw cowboy hat. Adam rejoins his tribe. We’d all forgotten that he was even missing. It’s time to fight to the death for immunity. The tribes look vaguely bored.

This time it is a 12-step program, or 4-part challenge… one or the other. Four members of each team must first put together a puzzle stretcher, and then they must race with it to the beach. Then one of the four must swim out to a mast offshore, where another member of the tribe has been shackled. The tribemate must free the poor prisoner, and then both have to swim back to shore. The four must then place the released prisoner on the stretcher, and race back with her to the starting point. There, three other members of the tribe must build a fire to burn through a rope to release a banner to signify the winning tribe.

Got that? Good. They’re off! Adam, Nate, J.P. and Brad race with the stretcher for Raro, while Jonathan, Yul, Ozzy, and Flicka take it for Aitu. Raro hits the beach before Aitu, but Ozzy smokes past J.P. in the water on the way to the mast. J.P., more of a beach guy as opposed to a water guy, looks like he’s sitting still compared to Ozzy, Mr. Aquaman himself.

Ozzy releases Candice, and they start heading back. J.P. makes it to Parvati, and releases her… but they have a lot of ground to make up. Candice and Ozzy hit the beach, Candice is hoisted up on the stretcher, and Aitu races back to the starting point. J.P. and Parvati drag themselves to shore, Parvarti hops on the stretcher, and they are on their way.

Cao Boi is in charge of building fire for Aitu, so when the stretcher returns he begins his magic. He seems to try to make fire-building a performance art, and annoys his team by waving things around as he tries to make them catch fire. But they need not worry, because when the Raro stretcher arrives, we discover that they have decided to put the remaining ladies in charge of building fire… which consists of mainly the members of the original Hiki tribe. You remember Hiki? They finally got fire well after everyone else, and it still took them forever even after they were given flint and fire-making materials? Yeah, that’s them. They’re the ones put in charge of making fire here, along with Jenny who just manages to get her hand almost cut off as Stephannie wildly thwacks the machete about trying to get a spark. Needless to say, Cao Boi’s performance art is far superior in starting a fire than Stephannie’s machete wielding. Aitu gets their fire, and they win immunity.

Aitu Tribe

The sad, beaten team returns to camp. Stephannie tells everyone that she feels responsible for the loss, and that they should all vote her to go home. The men all perk up, and are happy to have it all settled. J.P. is so happy, he decides to take a nap.

They ladies however… not so happy. Jenny and Rebecca start talking, and they both wish that Stephannie hadn’t been so willing to roll over and play dead. If Stephannie, goes, the ladies are afraid they will be picked off one by one because they will no longer have a numbers advantage. They decide that they need to act now to preserve their advantage, and go talk to Stephannie to see if she’s willing to change her mind.

Stephannie tells them she regrets her little speech, and that she wants to stay. Cristina agrees to vote for one of the guys instead as well, and they all decide on irritating, bossy, thinks-he-owns-the-world J.P. But they need one more vote to ensure that he goes. They go to talk to the remaining girl. Parvati.

Parvati, for some reason we don’t understand, is unsure. She has to think about it. Even though she has been complaining and whining about J.P. all this time, now she’s not sure that voting him out is a good idea. So the girls, still looking for a vote, go to the next best thing and try to recruit Brad. Brad is unsure, and has to think about it too. Oh no, it’s time for Tribal Council and we don’t know which way everyone is going to vote! The suspense builds.

Tribal Council

Campfire time again… and still no one brings any marshmallows. The kiddies gather ‘round, and Ranger Jeff asks about their day.

“Is there a leader in this tribe?’ Jeff asks. No one speaks up. Jenny finally says, not really. J.P. is somewhat hurt that they aren’t singing his praises.

“Stephannie, should you go home since you screwed up the fire?” asks Jeff. Stephannie defiantly says that no, she shouldn’t go home… anyone of them could have choked and almost cut off Jenny’s hand, and she shouldn’t be blamed for their loss.

“Do you think that’s true, J.P.?” asks Jeff. J.P. generously agrees, that Stephannie shouldn’t be blamed. J.P. also thinks that everyone has agreed to vote for Stephannie, so he has nothing to lose by looking tolerant and forgiving of Stephannies sucky fire-building abilities. Just to take it to that next level of generosity, J.P. even offers that he sucked big time at the whole swimming-out-to-the-mast part of the challenge… and he could be blamed for the loss as much as anyone. Everyone else makes a mental note, and feels even better about the fact that they are about to vote him out.

Time to vote! Dramatic Survivor music builds… everyone trudges up and casts their votes. J.P. wonders if he has time for another nap while the voting raps up.

Tallyho time… and much to J.P.’s surprise, he’s won a one-way ticket to Limbo Land, where he gets to sit out the rest of his days, waiting for everyone else to finish playing the game. Sorry J.P. Good news is, you’ll have lots of time on your hands to lounge around and catch a nap.

2006-10-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Standings before Episode 4

Tribes merge into two:
"new" Raro and "new" Aitu.
Raro wins immunity
Candice on Exile Island
Cecilia voted out 5-3

ADAM:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Well, Adam is now only one of four big strong guys on his new tribe. Not to mention, he was picked next to last when they were selecting new members… only one pick before Cao Boi for goodness sake. And as a final kick in the teeth, he lost his snuggle bunny Candice to the other tribe as well. Poor Adam. I’m not sure everyone else thinks he’s as awesome as he is convinced he is. He’d better get a handle on the whiney attitude he displayed last week if he wants to stick around for a while. His tribe doesn’t have to depend on him for strength anymore, and no one is going to have patience for a big ox like him throwing hissy fits. Play nice and help out, Adam. Otherwise, you’re going to have to sell a hell of a lot of copiers to see a million dollars in your lifetime.

BECKY:
(Voted for Cecilia) Aitu Tribe
Well, Becky lost no time scrambling around to get what she saw were the strong members of her new tribe aligned around her as soon as they merged. The bad thing is, she didn’t count on losing one of her allies to Exile Island, and then getting targeted by the rest of the tribe because she didn’t bother to get to know anyone else. You squeaked by this time, but you’d better start looking valuable to your entire team and not just your allies if you don’t want to be considered for elimination next time around.

BRAD:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Brad had his greatest wish granted, and is no longer trapped on an island with Cao Boi. And not only that, he’s now on an island with a handful of good-looking men that have no interest in wearing their shirts. Add a beach chair and a tropical drink with an umbrella in it… and he’s in heaven! Is there a romance brewing between him and J.P.? That rumor sure is swirling about. Lets stay tuned and see what kind of interaction there is between these two.

CANDICE:
(Exile Island)
Aitu Tribe
Candice was stunned into silence when her new tribe members filled her in on Billy’s declaration of love at tribal council. There’s just no way to prepare yourself for such odd news, and she can only be grateful that Billy got enough votes to send him home. Otherwise, they could very well be sharing a beach. And just as she was recovering from that shockeroo, she got sent to Exile Island, the land of the no-longer-there immunity idol. Luckily, the members of her new alliance fought against the odds and were able to stay intact while she was away. Now she’s in a pretty good place, as long as that alliance stays true.

CAO BOI:
(Voted for Cecila) Aitu Tribe
Oh Cao Boi, you just don’t understand that the target on your back is growing every week, do you? I’m not sure he’s playing the same game that everyone else is. I’m not even sure he’s aware he’s still playing a game. Whatever. In his world, he is wise and funny and everybody is hanging on his every word. I’m sure the outcome of this crazy reality-TV social experiment isn’t high on his list of spiritual priorities. Luckily, he won’t take it too hard then when his tribe votes him the heck off soon.

CRISTINA:
(Tibal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Cristina, still the defender of truth, justice, and the American way-off-base. She defended Billy to the end, but now needs to set her sights on what’s going on in her new tribe. She’s got J.P. with her from their old tribe, be he seems to be aligning with the men. She better find some strong allies in her new environment soon, or she may be hung out to dry the first time her team has to get rid of someone at Tribal Council.

JENNY:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Jenny is most likely also thrilled to be away from the yammering of Cao Boi. It’s hard to tell if she and Brad will still look out for each other, or if their new tribe will split down gender lines. She and Cristina should look out for each other… because they each need someone in their corner.

JESSICA:
(Voted for Cecila) Aitu Tribe
I admire Flicka’s willingness to tell it how it feels, but she’s going to wind up with no one watching her back if she keeps telling folks she on their side, and then changing her mind. Jonathan isn’t going to trust her anymore, and Ozzy is obviously mad about how the vote went. Flicka’s flame is going to burn out soon if she doesn’t pick a side and show some fierce loyalty towards it.

JONATHAN:
(Voted for Cecilia) Aitu Tribe
Jonathan was truly stunned when he discovered that Flicka’s support wasn’t a sure thing. But he pulled off a stellar performance when he realized he absolutely had to change her mind. Unfortunately, no one from his original tribe seems to trust him very much. And after slowing down in the immunity challenge, he’s going to be seen as a weak link. He’s gong to have to stay strategically ahead of everyone in order to stay out of danger.

JP:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
J.P. is on a strong team, and there are enough other potential targets on his tribe that he should be safe for a while. As long as he doesn’t do something outrageous to draw the wrath of his fellow castaways, I think he’ll be off the radar of most everyone… except for maybe Brad.

NATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Nate is right there with J.P… strong and pretty easy going, he’s in a good spot on his tribe as long as he keeps contributing and doesn’t do something to draw fire. I’m sure he’s happy to have some other men-folk to hang out with, after being left alone with only women after Sekou’s departure. He should be able to ride out a couple more weeks without problem if he helps out the tribe and avoids any silly conflicts.

OZZY:
(Voted for Becky) Aitu Tribe
Ozzy is clearly mad that Cao Boi and Flicka changed their votes, and now he feels on the outside of what he thought previously was a pretty locked group of allies. Ozzy doesn’t take things lying down either, so I imagine he’s going to flare up back at camp over things not going according to plan. Ozzy puts a target right on him when he does that though, so he’d better be careful. Lucky for him, he’s got Cao Boi nearby to draw most of the fire from his tribe.

PARVATI:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Parvati’s flirt strategy is fine and all, but when 50% of the men on your tribe are batting for the other team, that only gets you so far. Plus, the other girls on the tribe will have no tolerance for the flirt approach if it gets too outrageous. She better stick to the traditional approaches, contribute a lot and work your butt off! She’s too flighty to be considered a serious threat at this point, but she’s going to eventually need to bring more than charm to stick around.

REBECCA:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Rebecca and Stephannie may not have been that tight in their original tribe, but I bet now that they’ve been thrown together in this new situation, their bond will strengthen. The girls have the numbers on the guys in the new tribe, and Rebecca has always been a good contributor to the tribe… so I think she’s in a strong position to stick around for a while.

STEPHANNIE:
(Tribal Immunity) Raro Tribe
Stephannie has the natural ally in Rebecca, but of the two she is probably the weaker competitor. She’s in a good spot initially with Rebecca’s support and the girl majority in the tribe… but she’d better bring it a little harder in the competitions if she’s going to have anyone fighting for her to stay in the near future.

SUNDRA:
(Voted for Becky) Aitu Tribe
Sundra has to be feeling vulnerable after the last minute change in the votes at Tribal Council. With Cecilia now gone, Sundra and Ozzy are out on a limb, and Sundra doesn’t have as most to offer the tribe as Ozzy. All she can hope is that Cao Boi’s outrageous behavior becomes too much for her tribe, and he becomes their target while she stays safe. She’s going to have to scramble for some additional allies though if she hopes to stay in the game much futher.

YUL:
(Voted for Cecilia) Aitu Tribe
Has Immunity Idol Yul made a brave call by letting Becky know that he found the idol, and then almost had to use it to save her just a day later. Luckily, he was able to convince Cao Boi to change his vote, which says something positive about Yul’s negotiation skills. Yul has a knack for talking to people in such a personal and respectful way, that they really listen to what he has to say. Everyone has got to see what a strong player he is, and that is his greatest downfall. He can easily walk away with the prize, but everyone knows it… so sooner or later there will be a huge target on his back.

2006-10-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

Cecilia's Exit Interview

On Friday's "The Early Show", they interviewed Cecilia after being voted off Survivor on Thursday night.

They chatted a bit about what happened... Cao Boi and Flicka changed their votes, she thought things were locked in but obviously she was wrong, Jonathan must have been very persuasive to get Flicka to change her mind... etc., etc., etc.

Then they had the standard question of the season, "What did you think when you realized the tribes would be separated by race?" And Cecilia's response was standard as well... "It didn't bother me, I didn't really notice... I loved my original tribe but wasn't offended by the segregation, etc..."

The really interesting part of the interview was the "Secret Scene", where CBS broadcasts some previously unseen footage from the show. Now, they didn't show a secret scene for either Sekou or Billy, so I was curious as to why they were suddenly showing something for Cecilia.

Her secret scene was all about this flirtation that she and J.P. had going on during their time together in their original tribe. They show Cecilia, hanging all over J.P. And then they show the two of them, cuddling up together "for warmth" at night. And then there is a little interview from J.P., with him admitting that he and Cecilia are flirting a bit.

Hmmmm... Well, when asked about it during the Early Show interview, Cecila downplays it a lot, says that they were just friends, and that "of course" she would snuggle up to an attractive body at night if given the opportunity... but it didn't mean anything.

Well, they certainly didn't show any elements of this flirtation during the regular broadcast show. I wonder if CBS chose to broadcast this little scene to counteract some of the rumors swirling about out there about J.P. and Brad now dating post season? I mean, I'm not sure why they would, or why they would care... but it just seems odd to me that they would choose to broadcast these particular clips of Cece and J.P. together, when they haven't done secret scenes at all up to this point.

Well, doesn't matter. If J.P. or anyone representing J.P. are concerned about those rumors, then their first stop should be those pictures of J.P. on The Silver Fox website. Goofy shots of Cecila draping herself all over him don't hold much weight up against those!

2006-09-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

Drop your Buffs!

Night 6

The Aitu tribe returns to camp, and just like the rest of us, they’re still trying to make sense of Whack-a-Doo Billy’s love confession at Tribal Council. Cristina, ever the softy, is still trying to defend Billy, saying that maybe there was something there that the others just didn’t see.

No Cristina, he’s a Whack-a-Doo. A crazy, lazy, food-consuming, nap-taking, excuse-making, skill-lacking, boring, snoring, blonde-stalking, Whack-a-Doo. You and your tribe are all better off without him… and he is in a happier place. Let’s move on.

Day 7

Puka Tribe

After some fishing, the tribe sits around the campfire trying to enjoy a quiet meal. This is not possible however, because Cao Boi is there. And if Cao Boi is there, he’s got something to say… and he’s saying it to anyone within squawking distance whether they want to hear it or not.

He goes on his political diatribe about people that come to the U.S. from Vietnam for a better life, only to see their children get drafted into the war against Iraq. Let’s all agree that there is quite a bit of nonsense in what Cao Boi is saying, (keyword: draft), and the topic is really for a different type of blog that what I am mucking around with here. Instead, we will just pull out the relevant nugget which is: Cao Boi is driving everyone in his tribe nuts because he won’t ever shut up!

Brad looks up into the sky, hoping an alien craft will come and beam him far away from Cao Boi and his droning. Becky and Jenny start rubbing their heads to try and keep their brains from exploding. The entire tribe would happily switch places with Yul who is still on the peaceful shores of Exile Island. Cao Boi is oblivious, and continues to yammer on… pausing occasionally to laugh loudly at his own humor.

Raro Tribe

It’s tree mail time, and the tribe is informed that there will be an early morning challenge. Suddenly there is much frenzy, as all the members of the tribe feel the need to “warm up” for this unexpected challenge. Flicka starts hanging from trees, Parvati does a non-graceful backbend or two, Jonathan does some yoga-type move that must be called “rabid-dog-retching”, and Candice eats a coconut. Adam is not shown. Clearly he is buff, toned, and ready at all times and needs no warm-up. Either that or he is somewhere still sulking and kicking rocks because his tribe didn’t back him on the “we don’t need a floor, we can sleep on the cold wet sand” idea that he tried to sell them all last week. We get no more information though, because now it’s challenge time.

“Surprise” Challenge
(actually, we all know it’s not a challenge, and is going to be a merge… but THEY don’t know that yet. Shhhhhh…. )

Jeff waits for them on the beach in his safari hat. Aitu trudges in and reveals that they have voted out Billy. Candice reacts, not at all.

Jeff collects the 3-in-1 Immunity Idol from the rest of the tribes, and then hits them with, “Drop your buffs!” There are heavy sighs and glances to the heavens. Cao Boi is confused, never having it explained to him that the traditional tribal headdress that he has been wearing is actually called a “buff”, and can be purchased online at CBS.com. Finally, he grabs the correct piece of clothing and disposes of it along with the rest of the castaways.

Jeff then has all the ladies line up on one side, and all the men on the other. And then all of the individuals of each group must reach in a bag and pull out a tile. Two of the men, and two of the women reveal their picks and discover that they have an “X” on their tile.

Cecilia and Parvati are the lucky lady winners, and both become new team captains.
Brad and Jonathan both pull an X-tile, and become new team captains as well.

The ladies then get to take turns, picking other ladies for their new tribe. However, they are required to pick someone from a tribe different than the one they just left.

Cecilia goes first and picks Jessica. Jessica squeals, and then instantly whispers to Cecilia that she can call her “Flicka”. I imagine Cecilia instantly regrets her decision.

Pavarti is told she must then pick someone from one of the old ethnic tribes that hasn’t been selected from yet, so she picks Jenny.

Jessica/Flicka now has to choose another person, and is told she must select someone from the one tribe that hasn’t been selected from yet, so she chooses Sundra.

It goes back and forth… Jenny chooses Cristina, Sundra chooses Becky, Cristina chooses Rebecca, Becky chooses Candice, and Rebecca chooses Stephanie.

So now there are two ladies-only tribes:
Cecilia, Jessica/Flicka, Sundra, Becky and Candice.
Parvati, Jenny, Cristina, Rebecca, and Stephannie.

A similar process is followed for the men, and the result are two men-only tribes:
Brad, J.P., Nate, and Adam
Jonathan, Yul, Ozzy, and Cao Boi

Now the four captains are each told to select an egg and hold it tightly in their hands. At Jeff’s signal, they are instructed to squish it in their palms. In a somewhat mean, but colorful and effective stunt, the production crew has filled the four eggs with paint. Suddenly blue paint and red paint is exploding over the team captains, and in this way the male and female components of the new tribes are matched up. Jonathan and Cecilia are covered in red paint, while Parvati and Brad are splattered in Blue. The “red” groups become the new Aitu tribe, and the “blue” groups become the new Roro tribe. So our brand-spanking-new, totally integrated tribes are:

New Roro:
Pavarti, Jenny, Christina, Rebecca, Stephannie, Brad, J.P., Nate, and Adam

New Aitu:
Cecilia, Jessica/Flicka, Sundra, Becky, Candice, Jonathan, Yul, Ozzy, and Cao Boi

Jeff tells them that all the items that the individual teams have accumulated will be pooled together and be shared equally among the members of the new combined tribes. The “New Roro” tribe is told to go back to the Roro campsite, and the “New Aitu” is told to return to the original Aitu campsite. So, with final waves goodbye to old tribemates, they all set off on their way.

Raro Tribe

The new Raro tribe returns to their beach, and in celebration of their new integrated family, they decide to have a feast of sorts. Nate might as well be singing “Movin On Up” from The Jeffersons, given his excitement level about the new digs. I guess things were hard back at the old Hiki campsite? They had shelter, water, and fire… right? And access to the same ocean full of fish? Well, for whatever reason, he is way happy to be at the new camp.

Soon they all sit around and get to know each other. They chat a bit about how they all reacted to the realization that the game was going to start with ethnically separated tribes. They are all very polite about it… “I was surprised, but I didn’t really have a problem with it.” “I thought it was okay, because it brought attention to the differences, and made people think…” Etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. If anyone did have a problem with it, they’re not admitting it now since they have a new tribe to impress.

Stephanie sums up the Kum Ba Yah attitude of the new Raro by telling us that now they are all together, “You don’t see color, you just see the heart of the individual.” I see another T-Shirt coming:

Survivor Cook Islands:
It’s not about the color of your skin,
It’s about the size of your heart.

(Hey, anyone that makes a shirt out of that owes me 10%)

Parvati is very happy about the new tribe. She gives us some hoopie about it being a melting pot, and more representative of America. But what she’s really excited about is that there are lots of attractive young men around her camp now. Before she just had scowling Jonathan, and Adam who was all ga-ga over Candice. Now she still has Adam, sans Candice… plus Nate, J.P. and Brad. Parvati makes a mental note: Flirt with boys. Rinse, Repeat.

Aitu Tribe

The new tribe arrives as their beach, and Cecila and Ozzy give them the grand tour. Jonathan is all impressed by their shelter, it has walls and everything! There isn’t mention of a floor, but I’m sure Jonathan will get right on that if it’s missing one.

Cao Boi and Flicka beginning bonding at once while building a makeshift torch. I believe any fire-related activity will win Flicka’s heart. Flicka mentions that she can feel a change in the energy of this new tribe, and can feel a vibration from the new people that she didn’t feel before at the old Roro. Cao Boi generously tells her that he loves her, even though she’s not Asian. (Oh please, don’t let us have a repeat performance at Tribal Council. “I found my prize… his name is Cao Boi!”)

Cecila pulls Candice aside, and gives her the run down of the last Tribal Council and how Billy professed his love for her. Candice is flustered, dumbstruck, confused, embarrassed… and then back to flustered. Jonathan just about loses it when Cecilia tells them all how Billy considered his love with Candice to be his million dollar prize. Then the tribe teases her about leading him on. Candice laughs it off, but I’m sure she’s about ready to crawl under a rock to escape it all. Luckily, she’s about to win an all-expense paid trip to Exile Island. (But again, shhhhh… she doesn’t know this yet.)

Raro Tribe

Back at tribe Raro, the men decide to impress the ladies by randomly moving rocks from one side of the beach to the other. There is some unspoken competition to see who can carry the most rocks at one time. The men all wish they were peacocks so they could just display their colorful tails to the ladies to impress them, and stop having to carry all of these heavy rocks. Brad and J.P. carry rocks to try and impress each other.

Parvati has her flirt on. She goes up to Adam and starts grooming him and calling him her baby monkey. (My husband now wants me to refer to him as my baby monkey. This will soon be sweeping the nation, you watch.) Then Parvati the slut begins flirting with Nate. She coyly, and hopefully, tells him that his pants are falling down. There is lots of smiling, and lots of giggling. Man, if this girl can catch a fish, the guys will keep her around forever.

Aitu Tribe

Meanwhile, back at Aitu, Jonathan is busy cutting up bamboo. I assume he is building a floor. This man loves floors. If he wasn’t already a successful Hollywood movie guy, he should get into flooring. He has a passion for it.

On the beach, Becky is pouncing on Candice, similar to how she pounced on Yul last week. She approaches Candice, and suggests that they team up. They both agree it makes sense, given the fact that they are both wickedly smart, attractive, and female. They trust each other, they’re both female… they respect each other, they’re both female… and they admit that they would naturally and automatically ally with each other since… they are both female.

Once the allying is official, Becky mentions that she also trusts and respects Yul, and he is allied with her as well. She asks Candice if she trusts and respects Jonathan, and maybe he could be the fourth for their little bridge club? Candice says she clearly trusts and respects Jonathan, and that it would naturally and automatically make sense that the four of them should bond together in a mutually trusting and respecting alliance of four.

Hmmm… but they need a fifth to have the numbers in their favor. Who should it be???

Becky approaches Jonathan, and informs him of the mutually trusting and respecting thing with Candice and Yul. Becky asks him whom he think would make a good fifth. Jonathan know the perfect person that he mutually trusts and respects… Flicka.

Wha…? Flicka that made him crazy on day one, Flicka? Flicka that let the chickens loose, Flicka? Flicka that only helped him with his damn floor on the other island so he would stop yelling at her about the newly free-range chickens, Flicka?

Jonathan trots off to talk to his friend, Flicka. Flicka, that today is sporting a Pippi Longstocking inspired hairdo, stares at him blankly as he tells her that they need to ally with a couple of the Asians in order to go further in the game. Flicka is excited until she realizes that the Asians he is considering do not include her friend, Cao Boi. Jonathan coaches her, telling her not to let anyone know about the alliance if she is asked… that she should look blank and confused if anyone comes sniffing around her about it. Flicka has no problem with the blank and confused look, and starts practicing it right away.

After Jonathan is gone, Flicka tells us that she’s not sure about this alliance, because she actually didn’t like the people from her original tribe that much, and is much more comfortable with the people in her new tribe. Flicka is conflicted. She works on her blank and confused face.

Becky brings Yul up to speed on the mutually trusting and respecting thing that she’s set up with Candice, Jonathan, and Flicka. Yul agrees, and then tells Becky that because he trusts and respects her so much, he has to tell her something. He lets her know that he found the Immunity Idol on Exile Island. He felt he needed to let her know, as a gesture of how much he trusts and respects her. He then tells her that if needed, he will use it to save her someday… because he trusts and respects her that much. Becky tells him that he is right to trust and respect her, because she won’t tell anybody. She then gives him a big hug full of mutual trust and respect.

2006-09-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

Day 8

Raro Tribe

Nate is out fishing and spears an octopus. This only serves in really pissing the octopus off, and it grabs the spear and tries to pull Nate down to the depths with him. Although the plucky Survivor film crew tries to make it appear life or death, Nate is actually only in three feet of water. Therefore, Nate simply stands up and hollers to the beach for some help.

Brad and J.P., who just happened to be spending some alone time on the beach together, hear Nate and go splashing after him Baywatch-style. They pull the octopus above the surface of the water, and then it reaches out and grabs for Brad, and coils itself around him with a strong suction hold. Brad screeches like a girl, and then seems to get used to it… enjoy it even, and simply giggles. (Note to self: check in with Brad at the reunion show and see if he has acquired a pet octopus.) The three men finally trudge to shore with the defeated octopus in tow.

Nate presents the octopus to the tribe, reminiscent of Will Smith dragging the alien to the Airforce Base in Independence Day. Parvati stares hungrily at the octopus, and then hungrily at Nate. “I bet that’s a lot of meat… that’s good.” And then with a sultry smile she adds, “I bet you could eat that whole thing yourself.” Parvati has now made octopus some kind of metaphor for sex… and clearly she wants a piece of Nate’s octopus.

Immunity Challenge

We helicopter-swoop in to see the challenge course. It looks vaguely familiar. Actually, it looks frickin’ identical to a challenge from two or three seasons ago, where the tribes all have to be linked together carrying weighted backpacks, and have to chase each other around the course through knee-deep water in an attempt to catch the other team. Teammates can bail out at any time, but must give their weighted backpacks to another player. The first team to catch up to and tackle a member from the other team wins. And oh, by the way, there is another super secret note that will be revealed after the challenge.

So… clip, clip, clip… all tribemates are hooked together and wearing aforementioned backpacks. And…they’re off! Now, I don’t know if these teams discussed strategy at all before the challenge started, but clearly the Aitu tribe needed to discuss some. Because about a half a second into the challenge, suddenly all of the Aitu girls start bailing out. First Cecilia, then in quick succession, Sundra, Candice, and Becky. What are they thinking? They’re handing their packs off to the likes of old, overweight and out-of-shape Jonathan, and old, frail and out-of-shape Cao Boi. This so that they can go sit over on a bench and watch their team lose miserably?

(Okay, time out. Not that I’m an Olympic athlete or anything, but we’re talking 15 pounds! This is the size of a large bag of groceries… that’s all. I mean, I have an 18-month-old that weighs 30 pounds. Do you think I’m going to hand him off to someone else after 15.7 seconds? No! I’m carrying that baby until I’m near death, no matter what terrain we’re going through! Do none of these ladies have kids? Oh, all right… do none of these ladies like kids? Can you not use a little imagination and convince yourself that putting down this load is simply not an option? Oh whatever… on with the narrative.)

So plucky Flicka is the only ovary-bearing member still hanging in on the Aitu tribe, while Raro is still in full force. Then Raro loses Stephannie. All the other girls hang in until Cristina calls it quits, followed shortly by Jenny. (Girls, pleeez! Have you no backbone? Have you no fortitude?) At that point, Flicka bails, leaving the guys to go it alone for Aitu. Then Parvati leaves the Raro chain gang. Rebecca is the only girl at this point participating in the challenge. (You go, girl!)

Jonathan starts breaking down at this point. His smug pre-season speech about it making more sense for him to be a fatty that can stand to lose a few pounds, as opposed to being fit and in-shape, starts to haunt him about now. Cao Boi for once isn’t talking or laughing, and looks like he’s about to pass out. It is only at this point, when Raro needs to speed up to finish closing the gap, that Rebecca finally hands over her pack. The strong young boys in blue quickly catch up to the failing Jonathan, Cao Boi, and company.

As smart as he is, at this point Yul suggests that they stop running, and turn around and fight. Huh? I mean, even if they knock down a member of Raro, it still doesn’t matter because they’ve already been lapped. I’ll assume that Yul was just trying to be a nice guy, and bring the suffering to an end for Cao Boi and Jonathan… because otherwise, his logic just doesn’t stick. Anyway, Aitu stops, and exactly one second later they tackle Cao Boi, and the challenge is over. The new Raro wins immunity.

Now it is time to read the super secret note. The anticipation is immense! What will it be? The winning team also gets a pony??? Oh no, it’s just the expected announcement that the winning team must pick a member from the losing team to go to Exile Island, and that exiled person will miss Tribal Council and will not be eligible to be voted out. Just like last season. Big whoop. Can we possibly steal any more from previous seasons tonight?

So, the winning Raro tribe huddles together, and decides to send Candice to Exile Island. Candice looks a bit stunned, as does the rest of her tribe, but she trudges off to catch the Exile Island Express as the rest of the teams head back to camp.

Exile Island

They then give us a quick shot of Candice wading up to Exile Island. They don’t bother to waste our time with her reviewing the next clue in the handy-dandy notebook, since the idol has already been found by Yul. In fact, if Candice looks closely enough, she’ll probably notice that the token camera guy that they left with her doesn’t actually ever turn the camera on or remove his lens cap when he’s “shooting footage”. Yep, missy… that’s a sure giveaway that there’s no story on this little island anymore.

Aitu Tribe

Back at the camp, Yul is lamenting the fact that Candice is on Exile Island, and that has a huge impact on the whole mutual trusting and respecting thing that has been set up with him, Becky, Candice, and Jonathan. Before, they needed only one other person (flakey Flicka) to join their merry band, and they would have the numbers. Now, they are a party of three stuck out on a limb.

Cao Boi and Ozzy start chatting, and agree that neither one of them need to go home. So instead, Cao Boi thinks they should target Becky because she is weak. It appears that even though Becky is Asian, Cao Boi doesn’t love her. Ozzy quickly agrees, and they start rounding up votes from the rest of the tribe. Ozzy talks to Cecilia, Sundra, and Flicka as they walk down the beach, and tells them of their plan. Together, with Cao Boi, this group makes five and has the majority… and can vote out whomever they please. As long as they stick together! (But really, do they ever actually stick together by the time they actually arrive at Tribal? No. They do not.) You know there is going to be waffling, because Flicka is conflicted again… and is having a hard time maintaining her blank and confused face. Instead, she looks pained and stressed.

Once this little band gets back to the beach, Flicka calls out to Jonathan. They walk over to chat, none too inconspicuously, and Flicka blurts out what is going on. “Just so you know… Becky’s going,” she says, while Jonathan looks stunned. Then she continues, “Just so you know… I’m not going to go against that.” Jonathan looks double-stunned. Jonathan immediately starts trying to wrangle her, asking her if she would consider voting for somebody else. But Flicka is not easily swayed. She wants Becky to go, because “she doesn’t have a good vibe about her.”

Jonathan spins off and starts pulling out what little hair he has left. He talks with Yul, “Houston, we have a problem!” and they decide to each try and tackle one person and see if they can swing their vote away from Becky, and towards Cecilia instead. (No reason given for why they picked Cecilia. The next person alphabetically? I don’t know.) So Yul goes to talk to Cao Boi, and Jonathan goes back to try and iron-death-grip-hold Flicka into switching.

Jonathan sits down on a stump and tries to reason with Flicka. He discusses strategy and numbers, while she discusses trust and personal relationships. He talks about playing the game for the long haul, she avoids eye contact and brushes imaginary bugs from her shoulder. He realizes they are talking apples and oranges, she sits quietly and eats nuts and berries.

Yul talks to Cao Boi. Cao Boi wants to get rid of Becky because she’s a princess, and is the weak link for the team. Yul, of course, disputes this. “Becky, very strong. Cecilia, weak and no help. Putooey, putooy on Cecilia.” Yul also mentions numbers, and playing for the long haul. Finally, for once, Cao Boi is tired of hearing someone else talk, and shakes hands and makes a deal with Yul just to get him to be quiet and go away. Pay attention Alanis, this is irony.

We then hear Cao Boi telling us that he doesn’t like the scheming of men. He talks to Flicka, they both agree they can’t trust Jonathan, and that his is manipulative. But, (there’s always a but) Cao Boi agrees that it is a game about numbers, and that they will get picked off if they don’t go with what the big trusting and respecting alliance wants them to do. Flicka looks scared. Flicka doesn’t want to be picked off. But Flicka doesn’t want to play a dirty game either. This is where Cao Boi washes them clean of any responsibility… by magically announcing that it is just Yul and Jonathan that are playing the dirty game, and they are just being innocently swept away with it and can not be blamed. Flicka’s blank and confused face is back.

Tribal Council

It’s that time, boys and girls. Gather around the campfire and choose one of your own to throw into the crocodile pit. Jeff is there waiting. His spiffy safari hat is not.

Jeff: Jonathan, before you were all split by race, now you’re not. Do you care?

Jonathan: I couldn’t care less.

Jeff: Sundra, you’re the only African American here. Does that make you feel
A: Powerful? or
B: Vulnerable, isolated, repressed, and discriminated against, just like the minority that you are?

Sundra: I’ll take A, Jeff, for five-hundred dollars.

Jeff: Yul, you’re clearly smarter than everyone else, and we have already made the check out in your name. What will you do to entertain yourself for the remaining 31 days?

Yul: I’m going to gather fish to feed all of the starving children in South Africa. Right after I figure out how to hook up an Internet connection using nothing but coconut husks and fishing wire.

Jeff: Jonathan, how stupid are the people that came to this island just to make friends?

Jonathan: They are really, really stupid, Jeff. They could have stayed home and made friends. I personally have no friends. Therefore I have nothing to distract me from making a mad dash for the million dollars.

Jeff: Flicka, you are clearly outmatched and will be sent home soon. What do you have to say for yourself?

Flicka: Huh?

Jeff: Ozzy, have you figured out yet that people are going to screw you over and not vote the way they promised you that they would?

Ozzy: Jeff, if they betray me, then I’ll go all psycho crazy on them! I’ll be even crazier than my hair! I’ll build an elephant pit out in the wilderness and chase them into it. Then I’ll throw coconuts at them night and day. They better not betray me! They… better… not!

Jeff: Well then, it’s time to vote!

There is lovely Survivor music, our intrepid castaways trudge up and write names on slips of paper, and beg forgiveness from the person they are voting to throw into the crocodile pit (except for Ozzy, who dislikes Becky and looks forward to feeding her to the crocodiles).

Yul: Cecilia
Cecilia: Becky
Sundra: Becky
Becky: Cecilia
Ozzy: Becky
Cao Boi: Production staff teases us, and doesn’t show us that he’s written down Cecilia’s name… but the camera pauses long and hard on Cecilia’s face.
Jonathan: Cecilia
Flicka: See: Cao Boi.

Vote tallying time:
Three for Cecilia, three for Becky… tension builds... and the next person to be voted off Survior is… CECILIA!!!

Steam comes out of Ozzy’s ears.

Join us next week, when Ozzy goes ape-shit on his lying, cheating, betraying tribe!

2006-09-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

The standings before Episode 3

Puka wins reward
Raro wins reward
Puka wins immunity
Raro wins immunity
Hika wins immunity
Yul on Exile Island
Yul finds immunity idol
Billy voted out 4-1

ADAM:
(Tribal Immunity) Adam, you’re only four days in, and you’re already acting lazy and petchulant? This is a competition, you know. I know you’re hungry and tired, and this is probably the first time in your life you’ve had to work hard for something and not been given it right away. But Candice is right; you’d better not make an enemy out of your tribemates this early on. Go talk to Billy about what happens when you get lazy around camp… you may get snuffed out too. But at least you won’t have to make up the existence of a little flirt fest with Candice.

BECKY:
(Tribal Immunity) Becky pairing up with Yul is a smart move. But isn’t it funny that even within a “segregated” tribe, they segregate even further? So now it’s the Koreans teaming up against the rest of the Asians. And everyone was blaming Mark Burnett for the ethnic grouping!

BRAD:
(Tribal Immunity)Well, Brad’s not feeling as foolish, now that other members of his tribe are going to Dr. Cao Boi to cure what ails them. Brad better keep his head clear though, now that two strong members of his tribe are aligning, and one of them is holding the hidden immunity idol. As long as your team keeps winning rewards, you’re safe. But if you haven’t found someone to watch your back before that changes, you may find yourself in danger. Better see if there’s room for a third with Yul and Becky, or talk to Cao Boi about something besides head pain to ensure you’re not in this alone.

CANDICE:
(Tribal Immunity) Candice, you’re admirers are growing every week! You’ve already got a snuggle bunny in Adam, and now you have Billy professing his love to you for Tribal Council and all of America to hear. You better think twice before you give encouragement to any more men who are feeling down and out. Either that, or you better hire one heck of a personal security staff to keep the lovesick stalkers at bay. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say to Billy on the Season Finale. That’s if he can still attend under the rules of the restraining order that I’m sure you’ve filed against him.

CAO BOI:
(Tribal Immunity)Well Cao Boi, no one on your tribe seems interested in hearing any more of your everlasting array of Asian jokes, but lucky for you, you could care less what they think. I do believe however that by the end of the game, there is going to be a whole herd of castaways branded by your mystical headache cure. If only you could subliminally implement thoughts for them never vote you out at the same time… you’d be guaranteed a million dollar check in your name by the end of this whole adventure.

CECILIA:
(Voted for Billy) Cece looked like she was about to choke on her tongue during Billy’s telling of his imaginary love affair. As much as she may have been considering keeping him around earlier in the day, the crazy talk soon convinced her otherwise. But now she’s part of a two guy, two girl, team that is clearly divided down gender lines. If they ever find themselves at Tribal again, she may see her name showing up on some of those ballots.

CRISTINA:
(Voted for Billy) Well, Cristina had to make a decision between someone she didn’t feel she could trust, and someone she didn’t feel had a very tight grasp on reality. She was sympathetic to Billy because he was essentially back-doored into being voted out, but Billy pretty much sealed his own fate by going off the deep end. Even so, now she had two strong guys on her tribe that she doesn’t trust, and that probably have their sights set on her for the next tribal vote. Hopefully her tribe will be stronger without Billy, because she’s is probably at risk to go home if it comes to another vote.

JENNY:
(Tribal Immunity) Jenny has had just about enough of Cao Boi’s ethnic jokes, and is the one that is the most outspoken against them. But that didn’t keep her from running to him when she had a bad headache that she needed taken away – she’s marked just like Brad and now they’ll forever share a special Cao Boi administered spiritual bond. If the focus ever goes off of Cao Boi however, she and Brad share the same dangerous position once you consider the Yul/Becky alliance. She and Brad should get together and share more that just matching red marks on their foreheads.

JESSICA:
(Tribal Immunity) Jessica is clearly trying to make up for the chicken fiasco by being Jonathan’s right hand man, and working hard towards whatever he thinks the tribe should be doing. If only she could catch those chickens using some of the methods that the other tribes came up with, she could really have her record cleared. I don’t know if Jonathan has forgiven her yet however, so just in case she and Parvati should be talking and teaming up to offset the obvious Adam and Candice pairing.

JONATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity) Poor Jonathan, banished to Exile Island for a couple of days, and comes back to find that no work got done in his absence. Obviously the team considers him their leader, and are a little lost when he’s not around. Hopefully he can swing that in his favor so his tribe keeps him around for a while, because he couldn’t find the immunity idol, and now it’s too late because it’s already gone!

JP:
(Tribal Immunity)J.P. was about to lose it while Billy was in the process of describing the true treasure he found during his stay on the island. J.P. wisely let Ozzy be the one to suggest that the tribe throw the challenge in an effort to send Billy packing, but he’s still on the girls radar as being “untrustworthy”, although not as severely as Ozzy. If he’s smart, J.P. better pull the girls aside and try and get their support if another vote should come. As much as he may agree with Ozzy, he’d better distance himself from him in the girls’ eyes. That’s the only way he’ll keep the target off his back.

NATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity) Nathan couldn’t come through for his tribe when it came to making fire, but he seemed genuinely pleased and grateful to the girls when they finally got things burning. He’s the lone guy in a tribe full of women. He’d better start demonstrating his usefulness around camp, or they’ll vote a second guy off the next time they have a chance.

OZZY:
(Voted for Billy) Ozzy may have made the right call to get rid of the tribe’s weak link, Billy… but he didn’t do it with much finesse and is facing disapproval from other members of his tribe as a result. I think Ozzy is one of the best-prepared survivors to ever take on the challenge, but if the rest of his team doesn’t trust him, he could be sent home packing.

PARVATI:
(Tribal Immunity) Parvati seems to be sitting back, avoided taking a stand on anything just yet. I think she’s afraid if she voices her opinion on anything, her tribemates may disagree and a target may appear on her back. What she doesn’t realize is by sitting there doing nothing, she may get targeted regardless. Adam and Candice are pairing up, and Jessica is working hard to get in Jonathan’s good graces. If Parvati doesn’t make a call on something soon, she may be without any support and soon be shown the door.

REBECCA:
(Tribal Immunity) Rebecca didn’t give up, and as a result she provided the first fire for her tribe. She’s sure doing a good job of demonstrating that the girls of her tribe can do just fine without any help from the men. The tribe does seem more united with Sekou’s exit, and they seem to be a fairly tight knit group. And I think Rebecca is in a really strong position overall with her friendship with Sundra, and her contributions to the tribe.

STEPHANNIE:
(Tribal Immunity) Thanks to her vote last week, the girls of her tribe know that they have Stephannie’s loyalty. However, she’s still on uncertain ground, because despite her support of the other ladies, if it comes time for another vote for this tribe, team Sundra and Rebecca may decide that Nate’s strength is more valuable than Stephannie’s loyalty. She’d better do what she can to keep the tribe safe in order to keep herself safe.

SUNDRA:
(Tribal Immunity) Despite being on the chopping block last week, Sundra is in a pretty good spot now thanks to her friendship with Rebecca, and the success of the women of her tribe in general. As long as she and Rebecca stay aligned, and the women have the numbers over Nate, she can enjoy not having a target on her back.

YUL:
(Tribal Immunity) As if Yul wasn’t one of the best competitors out there already, now he has an under the radar alliance with Becky and the hidden immunity idol in his back pocket. This guy is smart, strong, and likeable. I don’t know what twists they may have in mind for us this season, but right now Yul looks like he’s going to be tough to beat.

2006-09-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

Are J.P. and Brad dating post-season?

That's a rumor that is currently swirling about. At first I didn't think much of it, because although I knew that Brad was gay, I hadn't heard the same about J.P. However, a friend of mine pointed me toward The Silver Fox website. The Silver Fox is a fairly well-known gay bar in Long Beach, California. Right on the first page of the website is a notice:

Watch Survivor on Thursdays at 8:00 PM

Cheer on JP in his quest to survive

the challenges of the Cook Islands!

Hmmmm. Okay, that means nothing other than J.P. may have some friends at The Silver Fox that wish him well, or at least that the club's webmaster does.

But then you go into their photo gallery and take a look at some pics from the club's participation in the Gay Pride Parade... and there in a few of the shots is someone that looks remarkably like J.P.

That appears to be him, the one without his shirt. Uhhhh, I mean, the one on the very far right, without his shirt.

Here's another look, on one of the floats:

That appears to be him again on the far right, this time with his shirt on.

Okay, so maybe we've established that J.P. might be open to the idea of dating Brad, but I don't actually know if they truly are dating. Assuming they are both around when there is a merge however, we can keep our eyes open to see if they have their flirt on.

That's all I've got. Has anyone heard anything more substantial?

2006-09-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

Billy’s Exit Interview

On Friday’s “The Early Show”, Harry Smith interviewed Billy Garcia to get his take on things after being voted off Survivor.

Billy shows up in, I kid you not, the same black T-Shirt, black pants, and black bandana that he schlepped around in on the island. (Honestly, he may have a closet full of them, and they could be all cleaned and pressed… but it looked like he had just come back from Tribal Council).

Harry asked him about the challenge, and if he knew that they were planning to throw it just to vote him off. Billy said he had a suspicion that they might, but that honestly he couldn’t believe that a tribe would truly do that on purpose, so just figured he was being paranoid. He said he didn’t know for sure until the challenge started, and then it became clear they were doing it on purpose.

Then Harry questioned him on his strategy, since the reasons his tribe gave for voting him off was that he was lazy and wasn’t playing hard enough. And this is where Billy describes his clever strategy, “The opposite is true. It wasn’t that I wasn’t playing hard enough, but that NOT working hard was part of my play.”

(yeah… you may have to read that over a few time to try and make sense of it)

He went on to say, “They were spending so much energy unnecessarily I thought, they didn’t have to work every second of every minute of every day.” He continued, explaining that he wanted to use his energy later… wait until they were all spent and then he would do something then.

Well clearly, his tribe was happy to let him sit back and conserve his energy permanently… because they booted his non-working, heavy metal butt back to base camp to spend the remainder of the time fishing with Sekou.

Harry then brought up the little romantic interaction that occurred between him and Candice after the challenge, and asked Billy to explain a little more about that. Billy kind of blushed, and looked down… and then went on to give what I thought was at least a somewhat reasonable explanation. He compared it to staving for food, and then if someone threw you a couple crumbs, it would seem like the best meal in the world.

Billy said he was starving for affection, feeling isolated from the members of his tribe. “So when she threw me some affection, it was like the best affection I ever had.”

Well Billy, you might have just kept that to yourself, as opposed to sharing it with a national audience. But at least you’re not scared about being honest with your feelings.

Billy none too subtly mentioned that he is still practicing his music, and you can learn more about his band by visiting their website at www.forsakken.com.

If you’d like to see Billy’s entire interview, you can find it at CBS News Video.

2006-09-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

What can happen when you insist on continuously wearing a black bandana on your head in the blazing-hot South Pacific.

Okay, so let’s just jump right in to the most bizarre event of the evening: Billy and Candice’s love affair. It is so secret, SO sudden… that even Candice wasn’t aware of it. Billy… you crazy fool! (And I really mean that.) You probably had saving votes from Cecilia and Cristina, until you revealed your spooky, phantom-romance-inventing, stalker tendencies.

My jaw quite literally dropped, and some kind of strangled laugh came out of it, when Billy started his little “love at first sight” speech at Tribal Council. After getting attacked by J.P. for his complete lack of effort around camp, Billy came up with just about the craziest defense for why he didn’t make himself useful around camp.

You see, somewhere along the line, Billy stopped playing this game for a million dollars, and in his own words, his prize became “that he fell in love in this game.” So I guess helping around camp wasn’t going to help him secure that prize, so why bother… was that his point? Oh, never mind; let’s just enjoy the craziness!

When Billy starts professing his love, there is a mixed reaction:

Billy: “I’m playing the game, that’s what I came here to do. My prize isn’t even the million dollars, my prize was that I… that I fell in love in this game.”

Cecilia and Cristina simultaneously choke on suppressed laughter.
A look of pure confusion flickers across J.P’s face.
Jeff’s eyes get big with shock.

Billy continues: “Love at first sight. Her name is Candice.”

Jeff just about falls off his chair (or log, or stump, or whatever.)
Cecilia and Cristina can stifle it no more, and they both burst out laughing.

Just to be sure he heard it right, Jeff clarifies, “Candice… from Roro tribe?” as his eyes just about pop out of his head.

“Yeah,” Billy confirms. “After the last challenge, we sort of mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to one another, so that was my prize. My prize was her.”

Jeff must cover his mouth to try and hide the ridiculous smile that he can’t keep from forming on his face.

J.P. shakes his head slightly, as if to say, “I don’t know what the hell to make of it either.”

Jeff diplomatically says, “I have never heard anything that surprised me more than what you just said.” And then artfully tiptoes deeper into the issue by asking, “I want to be respectful because I don’t know what happened, but what would she base feeling the same way you feel, on?” That’s right, Jeff. Tread cautiously. Don’t say anything to make the crazy, delusional man angry.

Billy’s heartfelt reply: “I think it’s just love at first sight. A rapport thing.

Jeff, a little dumbfounded asks, “You’re absolutely sincere right now.”

“I’m dead serious,” Billy answers.

This is the moment that the rest of the tribe gets uncomfortable. I think they are all clearly thinking, this guy’s not playing with a full deck. Truly, none of them would want to be around when Billy eventually finds out that Adam has been snuggling with “his girl”, and there are machetes lying about.

Jeff gently probes the rest of the tribe for their perspective on the matter, but wisely none of them outright declare that Billy is clearly sun-baked-crazy, and instead carefully state that they didn’t necessarily notice any signs of romance… but that doesn’t mean that there might not actually be something there. Kind of the same logic you use with a sleepwalker… you don’t want to suddenly startle them out of their fog, because you just don’t know what might happen.

Gratefully, it is time to vote. And in what is certainly the least surprising result of the season, the tribe unanimously decides that maybe this isn’t the best place for Billy, and he is sent home.

I’m sure the right place for Billy is somewhere with soft colors, a reclining couch, and a soft-spoken clinical psychiatrist that can get to the bottom of Billy’s fantasy romantic attachments. Luckily for us, his first stop will actually be on “The Early Show” tomorrow morning, and we can see what he has to say for himself and his entertaining crazy talk at tonight’s Tribal Council.

2006-09-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

Day 4

Hiki Tribe

We open on day four to find the four remaining members of the Hiki tribe huddled around and trying to make fire. Although they got flint after Tribal Council, they have yet to successfully start a fire with the sparks they’ve been creating with it.

They truly look tired. They are all slumped around the fire pit, exhausted and disheartened. Nate tries again and again to launch a spark into the waiting tinder, hoping to start the beginnings of a fire. But after some extended period of time, (2 hours, 15 minutes, 30 seconds? It’s hard to tell with editing) he gives up and dejectedly walks away.

The girls look at each other, and realize they have to step to the plate. And I’ll have to give them credit for this, they just decide that it’s time, it has to be done, and they are GOING to make fire.

So Rebecca grabs the flint, and with renewed determination they focus on the task… and the planets finally seem to align. Rebecca strikes a spark directly into the waiting coconut fluff, and they finally get a hot ember, and then fire.

You would think that Nate just won the lottery. He jumps up and down with genuine happiness and relief. It was kind of nice that he openly embraced the girls and their triumph, and at least from where we were sitting, didn’t show any signs of jealousy or embarrassment that the girls were able to accomplish what he couldn’t.

They all do the happy dance as a team, and you hear Nate saying that the tribe seems to finally be figuring it out and working as one.

Aitu Tribe

We see the members of the Aitu tribe (minus one member) busily catching fish and crabs, and collecting clams along the shore. In a voiceover, we hear as they tell us that “Latinos are good workers… it’s in our blood and in our heritage.” It’s clearly not in Billy’s blood however, because we see no shots of him helping out with the daily efforts of the tribe.

We then see the tribe circled around Cristina and she tells the story of being shot on duty as a police officer, and almost losing her arm as a result. She wears the bullet around her neck as a reminder. The tribemates are all duly impressed, and Cristina has suddenly become a role model for Cecelia.

Then the camera zooms in on wild chickens that are roaming around their island. Clearly the Aitu tribe is craving some KFC action, because their attention goes towards figuring out how they can capture a bird or two for a meal.

Cristina explains her idea of how they should put one of their fishing nets on the ground and when a chicken walks over it, suddenly swoop it upwards into a bag to capture it. Obviously Cristina has been watching too many coyote and roadrunner cartoons, because in the real world that will never work, given the fact that chickens actually have wings and can just fly above that sort of chaos.

Ozzy tries not to outright shoot down Cristina’s idea, but does gently nudge the team in another direction. Instead they prop the net up and wait for a chicken to take the bait beneath it, and then drop the net down on it. Sure enough it works, and soon they have chicken on the grill.

They then cut to an interview where Cristina is complaining about how Ozzy acts as if he “knows everything.” But regardless, soon everyone is sitting down to enjoy a chicken dinner… except for Cristina. She’s gone off to pout because they didn’t catch the chicken her way.

Puka Tribe

There is more chicken catching activity over with the Puka tribe. Yul has set one of the crates up on a stick, and put some bait underneath… and is quietly waiting for some chickens to come by and get totally plucked.

Those chickens don’t disappoint, and soon two are in the midst of Yul’s trap, and with a quick pull, both are trapped beneath the crate. (Similar to how the two chickens were trapped over on the Roro tribe before Flicka got involved. Flicka, are you paying attention over here?)

So Yul, the smart guy that can translate his wisdom to seemingly any environment, is definitely big man on campus for providing two chickens to the cooking pot. Becky, no idiot herself, demonstrates her intelligence soon afterwards by approaching Yul on the beach and suggesting that they team up. They both agree it makes sense, given the fact that they are both wickedly smart, attractive, and Korean. They trust each other, they’re both Korean… they respect each other, they’re both Korean… and they admit that they would naturally and automatically ally with each other since… they are both Korean.

(So, I know this is just one small example within a larger experiment… but next time why don’t Burnett and friends just throw 20 people of various ethnic background all together on one big tribe, and see how the alliances form all on their own? I imagine it won’t be much different that the “controversial” start to this season. By the first two episodes’ example alone, there will certainly be smaller split-off sub-alliances even within the ethnic groups. There will be the Heavy Metal whities vs. the Top 40 crowd…. the African Americans ladies vs. the men…. the Latinos that speak Spanish vs. those that don't… clearly the Koreans vs. all other Asian Americans…and let’s not forget the Sneeches with stars, vs. those with no stars on thars.)

Raro Tribe

Jonathan comes home from Exile Island to a tribe that is happy to see him. There are big hugs all around as he gets off the boat that delivers him back home. He tells them that he looked for the idol all over the island but couldn’t find it.

Then he starts looking around camp, and sees that nothing has been done in the two days that he has been gone. The shelter is still in disarray, and they don’t yet have a floor.

So with more than a little grumbling at his tribe, Jonathan gets to work. Jessica/Flicka, in an effort to make up for pissing Jonathan off by letting the chickens loose, enthusiastically pitches in to help with whatever he’s doing. Sadly, she seems to be more enthusiasm than skill, because there is a scary shot of her hacking away at something with a machete as she’s sitting on the ground with legs sprawled out in front of her. I swear, this girl is one sneeze away from losing a leg.

In the meantime, Candice, Parvati and Adam are all busy admiring one another. They causally hang out by the beach, brushing the hair out of one another’s eyes. Jonathan has just about enough, and starts barking at them all to pitch in.

This is when Adam starts throwing a hissy fit. He starts kicking rocks and whining that building a floor is a truly stupid idea, and a big waste of time. He looks for backup, turning to Parvati and Candice to support his position… but unfortunately for him, both of them suddenly turn mute, and seem to become very engrossed in staring intently at the sand by their feet.

Jonathan stomps off, mumbling that just because Adam is hungry and crabby that he shouldn’t avoid the work that needs to be done. Candice gently pulls Adam aside and tells him that he’d better be careful… and that it wouldn’t be a good move to make an enemy out of Jonathan.

2006-09-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

Day 5

Aitu Tibe

The camera zooms in on a rainbow of fish that the tribe has successfully caught off the shore of their little island. They’re obviously finding much of what they need to survive, and seem to all be doing their part to contribute… except for Billy.

Billy, still dressed in black, sits beneath the shade of a tree as activity goes on around him. Since his lack of survival skill was uncovered early on… he has taken to sulking and feeling unappreciated and isolated by the rest of his tribe.

Billy explains to us that he is trying to conserve energy. Since everyone else seems to know more about fishing and getting coconuts, he’s going to “let them do it as opposed to expending energy.”

The rest of his tribe tries to get him involved, but every time anyone asks him to do anything, he looks like a hurt puppy and shuffles through the effort with as little heart and enthusiasm as possible.

Ozzy is clearly getting frustrated, and tells us that he is tired of having to tell Billy what the tribe needs him to do. Cristina has a soft spot however, and is not a big fan of Ozzy’s ever since the chicken incident… so she sits down with Billy to try and understand why he is distancing himself so much.

The Man In Black whines, and says he just doesn’t feel like he fits in with the tribe. He adjusts his black bandana, pulls on the neckline of his black heavy metal T-shirt, and continues… saying that even though they are all from the same background, that in actuality, “Metal is my culture.”

Yeah, Billy… here marks the beginning of the end for you. Little did we know that you were also preoccupied by thoughts of Candice, imagining you and her and your cute little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Mohawk-sporting, leather-wearing babies running around.

Puka Tribe

Over on Puka Island, we find Cao Boi smushing Jenny’s face in a similar fashion to what we saw him do to Brad last week. It seems that Jenny got a headache from working in the hot sun, and went to the resident witchdoctor for a cure.

As much as she may have been earlier questioning Cao Boi’s approach and given Brad a bad time about the bright red “indicator” on his face, she is voluntarily subjecting herself to the same treatment, with the addition of a couple big whallops to the back. Soon she has a smile on her face along with a bright red mark between her eyes… and her headache is gone! Cao Boi has worked his magic once again.

His charms wear a bit thin however by that evening when the tribe is bedding down. Like a giddy girl at a slumber party, he is endlessly telling Asian jokes to the amusement of no one else but himself. The rest of the tribe is clearly annoyed, and they all try to explain why it is inappropriate to be telling ethnic jokes, even if it is about people of your own ethnicity. Cao Boi will have none of it, and states that to represent your race is not about avoiding the obvious joke. Speaking of which, he asks… can I tell you one more?

This man is going to wake up and find his training bra in the freezer.

Aitu Tribe

On Night 5, we find Billy asleep and snoring in the Aitu camp, with the rest of his tribe up, awake and clearly agitated.

Ozzy throws a suggestion out to the rest of his tribe, asking them to consider purposely throwing the immunity/reward challenge tomorrow in order to create and opportunity to get rid of Billy. J.P. agrees, and we hear him tell us that he was thinking the same thing and was happy when Ozzy actually brought the idea up.

The girls however, are not as convinced. Cristina, still stinging from the chicken incident, is happy to disagree with Ozzy. She doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and thinks it would reflect badly on the tribe if they threw one of their members under the bus.

(Personally, before Billy went all goofy on us at Tribal Council, I would have to agree. You only have FIVE members to begin with. Even at their worst, another body is good to have around when you’re competing against other strong tribes. Little did I know that Billy was going to soon display strange and disturbing characteristics that would make be happy to drop him off in a slow rowboat to China. Guys that imagine full-blown love affairs with girls that don’t even know them are the same kind of guys that hear voices and shouldn’t be trusted with machetes lying about. I know I keep focusing on the machetes… but that’s because they’re fricken’ machetes.)

By the end of the evening, Cristina still hasn’t signed on to the “Ditch Billy” scheme, and is instead looking at Ozzy with distrustful eyes. If he could ditch Billy now, certainly he could turn on her in the future… Hmmmm, something to think about.

2006-09-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Day 6

It’s tree-mail time again, and all of the tribes receive notes and funky little wrist cuffs that indicate that today’s challenge will depend heavily on the tribes being able to work as a team.

Cut to a picture of Billy in Black, sitting alone under a tree. Teamwork… hmmm, yes.

Combination Reward and Immunity Challenge

Today the survivors get story time about the life and voyages of Captain Cook. They have to listen carefully however, because the challenge requires them to get several plaques with story time facts that are strung out all within a crazy jungle-gym maze. After they retrieve all of the plaques, they have to cross a rope bridge as a team, and assemble the facts in correct order to win reward and immunity. Oh, by the way, the tribe has to be attached to each other in a long tribemate chain as they make their way through the challenge.

Because Hika is short a member since Sekou’s departure, all of the rest of the teams must also have one member sit out. Billy again and again volunteers to sit on the sidelines, but his team will have none of it. J.P. ends up sitting out, and Billy is shackled to the end position of his tribe's chain.

The challenge begins, and all of the tribes leap to the jungle gym… except surprisingly for the Aitu tribe. Led by Ozzy, they decide to take the option of reviewing the Captain Cook story “just to get all the facts right” before entering the maze.

Billy looks confused for just a moment, but then the realization that his tribe is about to orchestrate his exit hits him… and the sad puppy face is back. Piku, Rora, and Hika all attack the course… while Ozzy lollygags and slowly leads his team through the challenge, trying to not make it painfully obvious that they are bound and determined to come in dead last.

Surprisingly, Hika has enough troubles that Aitu could easily move into third place with little or no effort. But Ozzy makes sure that doesn’t happen… and with a mean streak I haven’t seen since recess in the third grade, Ozzy makes sure to wobble the robe bridge enough to send Billy in to the wading pool below, just to add insult to injury and ensure that they come in last.

In the meantime, Rora and Puka race to the puzzle-solving element of the challenge. They slam their plaques into place, and in what looks like a dead heat, both tribes race to the finish mat simultaneously to try and win reward. Jeff pauses for a bit, trying to distinguish which team exactly finished first… but then gives the win to Puka, because heck, that Asian team has got to be better at solving puzzles than the whities, right?

About that time Hika struggles to the finish… and bringing up the rear is a smug Ozzy with a questioning Cristina and Cece on board, and a very dejected and soggy-looking Billy at the tail end.

About that time we get the call from the instant replay booth that Puka and Rora actually did hit the finish mats simultaneously, and so a tie is announced. So in this case, both tribes get reward, which is two tarps per team that will come in handy with the rainy season just around the corner.

About this time, the tribes are all standing on their individual finish mats. A forlorn looking Billy is on one far side of his tribe, and next to him on the blue mat is the Rora team with Candice on the far side of her mat next to Billy. Candice is giddy, as a result of the announcement of the tie and the shared reward.

Attention: here comes the sum total of the Billy/Candice romance in it’s entirety.

Candice, suddenly noticing Billy’s hound dog expression, tones down her excitement for a moment and says, “I feel really bad for your guys.”
Billy looks over at her and says, “I’m next.”
Candice, speaking for her entire tribe, says, “We love you.”
Billy looks back at her and with a bashful smile says, “I love you.”

Yep, that’s it. That is what Billy created an entire full-blown love affair out of. Never mind the fact that Parvati was standing right there with Candice, providing her moral support to Billy as well. Nor that Candice didn’t say another word to him or even give him a wave goodbye when they eventually left towards their separate islands. That’s IT. That Billy, he’s got one hell of an imagination though. He should be a romantic novelist with the way he can create love and romance out of thin air.

As revealed last week, the losing tribe gets to choose one member from any of the other tribes to go to Exile Island. So, despite the fact that his heart is all aflutter, Billy announces that the Aitu tribe has chosen Yul to be exiled.

Exile Island

Although clearly unhappy to be away from his tribe that he has begun to bond with, Yul sucks it up and struts up the beach of Exile Island to the shipwreck. There he pulls out the handy-dandy clue notebook and takes a look at Clue #2:

Use the mast and an island
to form a letter,
block out the south island
and you’re doing better.

Yul wastes no time, and starts strolling around the island, looking at angles that will enable him to create the letter “A” with the masts of the shipwreck, and the profile of various islands in the distance.

He marks a spot on the sand that meets the criteria, and sits down and begins digging. This guy can do no wrong, so I don’t think a single one of us were surprised when suddenly he strikes something hard, and pulls up a little chest with a note and the immunity island inside.

That’s right CBS, you can just write the check out now. That’s spelled Y-U-L, K-W-O-N.

2006-09-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

The Standings Before Episode 2

Puka wins reward
Puka wins immunity
Aitu wins immunity
Raro wins immunity
Jonathan on Exile Island
Sekou voted out 3-2

ADAM:
(Tribal Immunity) Adam certainly isn't hating island life. He snagged the cutie of the tribe to snuggle up with at night for "warmth". It's too early to know if Candice's claim that she's "always cold" is just an early strategic ploy to get a big strong man on her side, but Adam's not complaining either way.

BECKY:
(Tribal Immunity) Becky was so far out of the spotlight in episode 1, I almost forgot she was even on the island. Well, if you're not getting screen time, you're not making waves... and this early in the game, that's not a bad thing. Flying under the radar can get you far... and by the time they do notice Becky, she may be ready to play.

BILLY:
(Tribal Immunity) Billy talked a good game for the first half hour or so, but when it came time to actually display skill... it was painfully obvious he wasn't as handy with a machete as he claimed. He'd better roll up those black sleeves of his and start pitching in without trying to come across as the resident expert. Otherwise, if his tribe has to vote someone out, his name may be showing up on the ballots.

BRAD:
(Tribal Immunity)Poor Brad. It's a good thing there aren't any mirrors on the island, otherwise he would freak out when he saw the big read mark that Cao Boi's headache cure left. He seems pretty tolerant of him though, and as long as Cao Boi is drawing all the negative attention of the tribe, Brad can breathe easy.

CANDICE:
(Tribal Immunity)Candice may be the youngest one out there this season, but she acts kind of like a disapproving mother. She certainly had her eyes a-rolling when Flicka let the chickens loose. But she did snag a warm spot next to Adam at night, so she's definitely got him to protect her. Smart move Candice!

CAO BOI:
(Tribal Immunity)Cao Boi is drawing a lot of fire from the other members of his tribe. He's certainly comfortable being himself, but no one else quite knows what to make of him. I'm facinated by how he cleared up Brad's headache, but I don't know if that non-traditional approach will sit well with the rest of his tribe. Watch your back, Cao Boi! You're definitely odd man out in your tribe.

CECILIA:
(Tribal Immunity)Let's see, I remember seeing Cecilia jumping off the ship while holding her nose... and other than that, we didn't see a lot of her this first time out. Keep your head down, and let the bigger personalities get in the crosshairs Cecilia... I think that's your best move for now.

CRISTINA:
(Tribal Immunity)Was Cristina even there...? Did we even talk to her? Heck... sorry guys, I got nothin'.

JENNY:
(Tribal Immunity)This is the problem with starting out with 4 tribes and 20 people, you just can't cover everyone. Jenny's another one that made it through round one, but that we didn't see a lot of. Hang in there girl, just keep doing what you're doing for 36 more days!

JESSICA:
(Tribal Immunity)Awww... poor Flicka. You'll never live down the fact that you let those chickens out. Good news is, your team didn't have to go to tribal council. Bad news is, the first time they go, I think you'll be the first to go.

JONATHAN:
(Tribal Immunity)Well, the short conversation he had with Flicka will probably be their last. He's not a big fan ever since she let his chicken dinner get away. But maybe he'll figure out the clues on Exile Island and secure his safety to the final four! He seems like he'll be entertaining, so I hope he's with us a while.

JP:
(Tribal Immunity)J.P. was all ready to rally around Billy! Then he found out that Billy stretching the truth a bit regarding his "handy man" abilities. Well, it's good to learn this lesson right away. Everyone's going to lie to you J.P.! It's how the game is played! Don't be hurt, just be ready for it!

NATHAN:
(Voted for Sundra) Nathan can step into the vacant leadership role of his tribe now that Sekou is gone, but he may not want to. His tribemates have proven they're happy to get rid of the leader when they don't do well at the challenges. He'd better make friends with one of the ladies, otherwise he's going to be out on a limb all alone.

OZZY:
(Tribal Immunity)Ozzy is a little monkey man! Did you see him scale that tree? I think he has all the right skills to do fantastic at this game. He just can't be perceived as too prepared, or they'll vote him right off as a threat. Hopefully he can walk that thin tightrope as well as a monkey too!

PARVATI:
(Tribal Immunity)Pavarti is just going to smile all through this game! She's just got that ray of sunshine quality about her, and it may make folks want to keep her around. As long as someone else is letting the chickens loose, the target will stay off her back!

REBECCA:
(Voted for Sekou) Rebecca made a fast friend and early alliance with Sundra, and they were responsible for the first one voted out of Cook Islands. As long as they didn't get rid of some physical strength that the tribe will need later, she's sitting pretty good right now.

STEPHANNIE:
(Voted for Sekou) How is it that the one person in the tribe without an ally, has all the power? That's the magic of the swing vote, and Stephannie got to decide who was the first one to go home from Cook Islands. Hopefully she can find a strong alliance with the girls, or form a new one with Nate, bucause you can't win this game all alone!

SUNDRA:
(Voted for Sekou) Sundra almost became the first one headed home. Good thing Stephannie decided to stick with the girls, otherwise the night would have had a much different ending! With Rebecca as a close Ally, she's now part of the strongest alliance on her tribe. But they may wish they had Sekou back if the next challenges are very physical.

YUL:
(Tribal Immunity) Yul even began to warm to Cao Boi by the end, even if he still doesn't understand him. Yul is definitely a strong player, and will certainly be around for a while.

2006-09-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

Luxury Items

So during most seasons of Survivor, the castaways each get to bring one luxury item with them. I don't know what the precise rules and regulations are, but clearly they can't bring things like food, fishing gear, or steak knives. The rules must be pretty specific, because history shows that most of the survivors have chosen truly useless items. To mention a few:

Cologne, a teddy bear, paints & canvas, eyeliner, the Bible, lipstick, a football, crayons and a coloring book, the Texas state flag, a voodoo doll, a journal, a backgammon set, flaming fire-dancing balls (don't get me started), massage oils, a pillow, bongo drums, a shaving kit, war paints, Scrabble, a hairbrush, and a homemade immunnity headdress.

Hmmmm. Well, those of us that watched Colby's season when he brought the Texas flag, suddenly discovered that maybe that was a pretty smart move. His tribe was able to use it for shelter, and it actually came in quite handy. The same I think could be said for a shaving kit, assuming there are some razor blades in there somewhere that can be used to whittle a spear or cut fish. And to battle boredom, I suppose the football/Scrabble/backgammon choices are all good, as well as a journal to write in or the Bible to read.

But some of these choices are just crazy, right? I mean, if you have no soap, deodorant, or shampoo... who the heck is going to get close enough to you to notice you're wearing lipstick or eyeliner. And really, are either one of them powerful enough to offset the impact of matted hair and a dirt-streaked face?

And in both the case of the bongo drums and the swinging balls of fire, they may have made the individual survivor happy to have something familiar around, but the rest of the tribe wanted to kill them for subjecting them to the sounds/sights of their items.

So given the fact that we all agree that we are in our right minds, as opposed to those crazies that are stranded in the Cook Islands, what do YOU think would be the best luxury item to bring to help you survive the game? I've made a little poll over on the left hand side. (Go see! You may have to scroll a bit, but that's okay... I'll wait.) Find it? Okay! As you can see, I've taken five of what I think would be pretty sensible choices:

1. A flag/banner. (Colby had it right, bring something that looks sentimental, but has actual use in the wilderness.)

2. A toothbrush. (You shouldn't neglect your gums, even when competing for a million dollars. Plus, you don't want to offend those you are trying to ally with while whispering secretly in the bushes.)

3. A good luck charm. (This could be anything, from a rabbit's foot to a picture of your puppy, whatever you think would bring you luck.)

4. The Bible. (Let's assume this is the only book that the castaways are allowed to bring. No, manuals on "Surviving in the Wilderness", etc.)

5. A game. (A soccer ball, a chessboard, a volleyball... something to do during those boring lulls between challenges and scrapping for survivial.)

My personal choice would be the toothbrush. I know, I know, not very exciting. But I personally hate having stuff stuck in my teeth, and I'll I'd need is to be on national TV with a bit of coconut husk hanging from my choppers. It's not like anyone on the island competing against me is going to tell me I look like a fool.

How about you? What would you take? If you don't like my choices, leave a comment and tell me one of your own. You can do it, it's okay! I won't email you back and tell you I think your choice is silly. Honest.

Alrighty then! Another new episode tonight. I'll have updates up this evening, but it may be tomorrow before I finish with it all. Happy Survivoring!

2006-09-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

Sekou's Exit Interview

In CBS’s effort to draw us into their morning news program, The Early Show, they always interview the reality contestant that was voted out/eliminated/sent home from the “show de jour” the evening before. It’s a blatant attempt to steal viewers from their competition, the Today show and Good Morning America… but it’s also effective! I, for one, tuned in to see what Sekou had to say about his short time on the island.

The episode recap pretty much zoomed in on the gender split in the Hiki tribe. There was Sekou telling Nate that the girls would be stupid to get rid of one of the stronger men, and there was Rebecca telling Sundra and Stephannie that the guys are on thin ice and that one of them must go.

During the interview, when Sekou was asked if he knew that he was in danger, he admitted that he assumed he was as soon as his tribe lost the challenge. But according to Sekou, it was his phenomenal leadership skills that got him the early boot from his tribe. He recounted what he assumed was his tribe’s thought process when the girls targeted him: “Since they think I’m this courageous leader, they may think I’ll be a threat to them.” So according to Sekou, they took him out in order to secure a place for themselves in the tribe.

Hmmm, well yes… I guess it could have happened that way. But from where I was sitting, I think it was his nap on the beach that did him in. When he was asked about it during the interview he said, “I was being relied on a lot for fire, as you can see.” He went on to say that the nap was a result of him being exhausted from the effort of making the shelter and making fire.

Okay Sekou, I’ll give you the shelter bit, no problem. I did see you kind of orchestrating that whole scene. But fire…? Once again, did they actually ever even have fire during Sekou’s reign? I don’t think so. So this continual use of his “fire making ability” as a bargaining chip was a pretty bad move on his part, in my humble opinion. You know how they got fire, Sekou? They voted you out! And then immediately after, Jeff handed them flint and four burning torches. So yes, I guess in a roundabout way you did help them get fire. Good man!

It turns out that Sekou was recruited for this season of Survivor. In addition to trying to cast a racially diverse cast, the producers were also trying to find folks that didn’t know that much about the game in and effort to recapture some of the “freshness” that the show had the first couple of seasons. Sekou said that he received a call on Friday that they wanted him for the show, and by the next Thursday he was already sequestered as they got ready for filming. I have to hand it to him; I don’t know if I would be ready to go on an adventure like this with only seven days notice!

Although they don’t go into any details about what happens to the survivors one they’re voted out, they did show a picture of Sekou with a truly huge fish that he caught during the rest of his stay on the Cook Islands before filming finished and everyone was allowed to go home. So even though he wasn’t part of the game after the first three days, he did get to enjoy a paid vacation in the South Pacific, with sun and fun and fishing. Heck, as long as you’re not going to go home with the million dollars, you might as well get out early and enjoy your stay with showers, real beds, and three meals a day.

By the way, Sekou also gave a plug for his upcoming CD that is being released in early 2007. So if you’re a fan of jazz, look for Sekou Bunch’s CD, “The Next Level” in January.

2006-09-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

39 Days, 20 People, 1 Survivor

Episode 1

It’s here! The highly anticipated, hotly debated, new season of: Survivor. Tonight we got our first look at the four tribes we’ve heard so much about.

For the show, the tribes have all been given cuter, shorter, nicknames. So for the rest of our time together, I will adopt these names as well. Our tribes are:
Hiki (African-American)
Aitu (Latino)
Puka (Asian-American)
Raro (Caucasian)

The show opens on rough seas, with the 20 castaways and Jeff cutting through the sea on a large sailing ship. More than a few of them look pretty green, and are probably already wondering why exactly they signed up for this gig.

They’ve already been divided into the four tribes, and so have been told about the “unique” criteria by which they’ve all been divided.

(I was kind of hoping that we would get to see the moment that this twist was announced to the players. Forget about how we all felt about it, how did THEY feel about it the moment they discovered that tribes would be split along ethnic lines??? We get a few glimpses into their thoughts a little later one, but there’s nothing like the first raw reaction to such an unexpected announcement.)

The adventure for these seasick twenty then officially begins with the clanging of a bell, and the announcement that they have exactly two minutes to salvage whatever they can from the ship, cut free their color-coded rafts, jump overboard, and begin paddling to each of their designated islands. Whoo-hoo! Chaos begins! You suddenly see twenty startled, disorientated, and frantic strangers crawling over the deck of the ship grabbing at whatever they can. There are bananas, Hawaiian slings, fish traps, live chickens, lanterns, machetes and firewood on board… but not enough to go around. So it’s first come first serve, and whichever tribe can grab the most, gets the most.

This is where our first inter-tribal “incident” occurs. Yul of the Puka tribe sees a chicken fly off into the sea, and leaps off the ship after it. It’s a little crazy and hard to follow, but he somehow gets it back to the ship… and then as time runs out and everyone has to get their butts off board, his tribe goes to grab the chicken, and it’s not there. Jonathan from the Raro tribe has made away with it, and jumps overboard to his raft with it in his hands.

There’s too much at stake however for the Puka tribe to cry over spilt chicken, so with Jeff screaming at any of those still dawdling to “GET OVERBOARD!” the teams start furiously paddling to shore.

It’s actually a bit visually startling to see the size of the waves that are rolling under the four rafts as they slowly pull away from the ship. For the first time in all of the seasons, these poor guys really do resemble stranded castaways… as they cling on to their rafts and meager possessions, and slowly try and make their way to dry land. Then of course the fact that they all volunteered for this, and that someone is going home with a check for a million dollars, roars back into mind… and the concern and empathy evaporates, just like that!

As they are all paddling to shore, they cut away to interviews with some of the Survivors, and we hear their reactions to finding out that the tribes were going to be split along ethnic lines.

From the Aitu tribe, Ozzy’s first impresson was that it would probably be hard because “as a people of the same ethnicity, they might clash on things.”

Sundra from Hiki tribe very diplomatically stated she could care less about the tribal divisions, because “surviving is a human effort.” (I see a T-shirt in the making)

Yul from the Puka tribe seemed the most taken-aback by the groupings. By his own admission, he was “stunned” by the announcement. He thought it was a great opportunity that more minorities were participating in the challenge, but was concerned that the situation might “play out to caricatures and stereotypes.”

Pavarti from the Raro tribe is shown smiling… always. While sitting on the raft while the rest of her team paddles in, she screams and giggles as the stolen chicken she is holding struggles in her arms. They then cut to her sitting on a log, giving her thoughts on the tribal divisions. “Different ethnic groups… is that Kosher?”

Ahhh… smiling Pavarti. You’ve voiced the very question that everyone has been debating for the last couple of weeks.

2006-09-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

Day 1

Aitu Tribe

The Aitu tribe, on their red raft and with their red buffs, paddle strongly into shore. Billy starts talking more (and paddling less), laughing about how it’s ass backwards that his parents paddled away from an island (the Dominican Republic) in order to give their kids a good life, and here he is voluntarily paddling towards one. Billy goes on to explain that when he found out how the tribes were to be divided, he figured it was a great advantage because the Hispanics all come from Caribbean or South American backgrounds, and so they are all used to being in a tropical setting.

(Uhhhh… Billy. Let’s not even mention the fact that you’re dressed head to toe in black in a location that’s hovering at the 100-degree mark every day. Let’s focus on the fact that you’re from New York, so you’re used to being in… New York! Hell… my ancestry is from Norway. But is there any part of me that’s used to being in snow boots and winter muffs, or hanging out where winter nights last 4 months long? I don’t think so.)

Billy continues on, sharing his knowledge with all… telling his tribe he knows how to build stuff. He starts telling them that he can build a toilet. J.P. generously offers him the machete so he can get to work… but then Billy pauses and says no, he’ll just explain it to everyone, so that everyone on the tribe will know how.

(Billy is obviously quickly trying to place himself in the “supervisor” position. He who has all the knowledge and directs the efforts around him, but need not actually participate in any of the work.)

Sadly for Billy, things don’t go quite according to plan, and soon we see him working along with the rest of the tribe trying to create a shelter. J.P., initially thrilled that they had a construction expert in their midst, suddenly begins to notice, along with the rest of the tribe, that Billy’s expertise may have been grossly overstated. About the time he starts smacking a pole of bamboo against a tree in an effort to break it, Ozzy casually steps in and starts fitting pieces of the shelter’s bamboo frame into place. As Ozzy goes to work, Billy looks on… in his black bandana, black t-shirt, too long black shorts, black socks, and black sneakers. Billy shrugs an unenthused, “uh… alright”, as Oz pulls things together, as if to say, “Like, fine… if you want to do it that way.”

Ozzy goes on to explain how he carefully tries to tiptoe into the situation, to support the tribe but not appear as a leader. However, the very next shot shows him scaling a tree like Curious George to fetch some coconuts for the tribe. I swear to you, he does it with such ease, he must scale trees every morning at home to fetch coconut milk for his Rice Krispies. His entire tribe looks on in awe.

Way to not draw attention to yourself, Ozzy!

Puka Tribe

We catch up with the Puka tribe and their green buffs as they make their way to shore. We hear Coa Boi, yelling about the coming “Asian Invasion”, and then joking that he, “can’t believe a bunch of Asians that are so little weigh so much.”

Feathers start to get ruffled right away, and I believe it is Becky that barks out, “No more Asian jokes, no more stereotypes!” Cao Boi just laughs back, “What stereotype, it’s fact!”

So begins the somewhat strained relationship between Cao Boi, the nail salon manager, and the rest of his tribe. Cao Boi has thoughts and opinions on everything, and is not about to keep them to himself. He hunkers down in the sand and gives his opinion of his tribe’s chances, saying that the Puka tribe is at an advantage, “we fly under the radar, no one suspect these ‘little’ people with slanted eyes so see anything or be strong enough to do anything. People always underestimate the Asian!”

Yul admits that he is having the most issues with Cao Boi, while Brad listens to Cao Boi as he hacks up a coconut and tells about a monk in Vietnam that was able to live for many years on coconuts alone. Brad says, “I have a feeling you’re going to be telling a lot of stories tonight,” while the rest of the tribe looks on, not sure what to make of their eccentric member.

Cao Boi admits he’s never been accepted by the Asian community. He doesn’t look educated, or fit the stereotype of hardworking engineer, with a suit and tie and a nice car. “I belong in a hippy community,” he says, as he crawls off into the bushes to eat a coconut by himself.

(Hmmmm... Cao Boi, if you would brush those twigs out of your hair, and come out of the bushes and share some of your coconut, you might be accepted quicker than you think.)

Hiki Tribe

The Hiki tribe and their yellow buff climb on shore, and quickly do a team huddle. They vow to make it as a strong tribe from day one to the end, and end their circle time with hands in the middle chanting, “Represent, Represent, REPRESENT!”

Stephannie follows up with an individual interview, saying how they all feel pressure to, “Represent… our people, and the African-American culture.”

And Rebecca goes on to tell us, that because they are divided by race, she feels the need to show that, “Yes, black people do swim. Yes, black people do know how to get on a boat and paddle. I mean, we don’t just run track!”

(My gosh, this is a lot of responsibility for 5 island-bound castaways to shoulder! I’m all about the “represent’n” , but maybe first you should focus on fire, water, and food… and save all that other stuff for day two?)

Sekou then starts handing out responsibilities to everyone, telling different individuals to gather bamboo, firewood, and palm fronds. Things seem to be moving along, but then Nate talks to us individually and admits that they have a lot of headstrong people on their tribe, and “black people don’t like to be told what to do.” Pretty soon, progress halts as they debate about the best way to build the shelter. But Sekou seems to gather the reins again and soon they’re all proudly standing around a small but functionally box-shaped shelter, which Sekou refers to as “low income housing”.

Raro Tribe

We catch up with our final tribe paddling to shore. The blue-buffed members of Raro are all onboard their little raft, except for some reason for Jessica who is hanging on to the back, kicking along for her contribution to keep them going.

Jonathan gives his two-cents on the ethnically divided tribes. “I don’t believe that just because these tribes have cultural similarities, that that will make them more specifically cohesive.”

(Wha…? The similar color of people’s skin won’t automatically make them a tighter knit group, any more than different shades of skin will automatically make them more divisive? Wait a minute… it’s almost as if they planned this whole thing to illustrate that point, as opposed to somehow encouraging people to stick with their own. No, no, no… that would mean those councilmen in New York were foaming at the mouth for no reason! That couldn’t be right… never mind.)

As the tribe drags things on shore, they celebrate all the booty they were able to take from the ship. In addition to the “stolen” chicken, they grabbed two machetes, two slings, and another chicken. They put both chickens under one of the empty crates, and Candice, with her hands on her hips and a very serious look on her face said, “Hey make sure those chickens aren’t going to get out!” Oooh, I sense foreshadowing!!

We hear Jonathan babbling on about grabbing one of the chickens from the Green Team, and not even realizing it was theirs. Right, Jonathan… and Rupert from Survivor: Pearl Islands didn’t know those were someone else’s shoes he took out of that boat that first day.

Thieves or not, they toast their success with coconuts, and nickname themselves “The Whities”. Roller Girl Jessica (a.k.a. Flicka) runs down the members of the tribe. She labels Adam “The Jock”, Parvati “The Sorority Girl”, Candice “The Serious Student”, Jonathan “The Family Man”, and Jessica/Flicka “The Alternative Option”. Wasn’t this a John Hughes film?

This is where it gets fun. Jonathan is chatting with Jessica, trying to get to know what she’s all about. She mentions that her friends call her “Flicka”. He laughs about the “My Friend Flicka” reference… she mentions she’s never actually seen the movie, and as she is distracted by conversation, she lifts up the crates that have the chickens under it.

Chickens run off like… um, chickens with their heads cut off. There is a half-hearted effort to round them up, but they soon dive deep into the bush and are beyond any easy capture. You hear Jonathan grumbling loudly about the whole thing. Mentioning that he can forgive her, “but I don’t have to, because she screwed up my chickens”. Hence the name of the episode.

Poor Flicka. You’re “represent’n” the roller girls across the country, and I’m afraid they all dropped their heads in disbelief and shame when you let those chickens escape. Sorry girl, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

2006-09-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Day 2

Hiki Tribe

We open Rebecca and Sundra jumping up and down on the beach, squealing and holding hands. “We got water!” The camera pans to a little barrel-looking thing with a wooden cover on top. It seems to just be sitting there, kind of in plain sight, so I’m not sure where the giant victory of “finding” the water supply comes in. But I didn’t just travel halfway across the world and spend a cold night on the beach either, so I may be missing out on the emotional high this discovery delivers. We see Stephannie peering from the bushes, observing how Rebecca and Sundra have seemed to already formed a pretty tight bond. Hmmmm… two’s company, three’s a crowd, eh Stephannie? Stephannie tries not to sound whiney as she talks about the things that the two girls obviously have in common that draws them together. Like being… um, girls.

After peeking in at the water, and having it mentioned more than once that it’s full of parasites, the tribe sets out to make fire so they can boil their water. So we see Sekou, the big strong self-appointed leader of the group, sit down and take over. Now I know there is editing here, but still, this guy spends what… six minutes trying to make embers by scraping two pieces of wood together? By then he’s sweating, breathing hard, leaning back, rolling his eyes. Suddenly he tells everyone he needs a break and lumbers off. He’s just extended the equivalent energy needed to wash a small shirt on a scrubbing board, and he’s acting like he just chopped a cord of wood.

There’s Stephannie, being interviewed again… trying not to sound whiney as she complains about there being too much to do for Sekou to be taking all of these breaks and losing focus. Soon Sekou is shown, out cold, taking a nap on the raft by the beach. Stephannie selflessly says she’ll just do it herself, and although she’s extremely frustrated, isn’t going to say anything about Sekou’s napping tendencies. That’s right, Stephannie… you can just confide in us, a national audience. We won’t say anything.

Raro Tribe

Night falls on the Raro tribe, and as the tribemates are gathered on the beach we hear Candice complaining about being cold. She asks Adam, “Should we go snuggle at home?” and he just about knocks over the campfire in the process of jumping up to offer his services. “Oh yeah! We can go try it!” he replies very, very agreeably.

Soon the whole tribe is bedding down, all spooning each other for warmth. It’s a very coordinated effort initially, and they call it their little “cuddle puddle.” (Personally, I want no puddles in my cuddles, but to each their own.) But soon enough we see Candice and Adam peeling off into their own two-person cuddle, with Candice rubbing Adam’s back as he holds her close.

Both Adam and Candice speak up in their individual interviews, bringing up the other person. Candice admitting that she thinks Adam is attractive, with a fit body and a “good looking face”. Adam flat out admits that he’s attracted to Candice “a lot” during his camera time.

Parvati sums it up saying that Adam wants to be the big strong man and take care of Candice, a sweet little girl… and that romance is in the air! Hurray, romance!! Now THAT’s good TV.

2006-09-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Day 3

Puka Tribe

On the morning of day three, we find Brad holding his head from a headache that is still lingering from the seasickness he suffered on Day 1. Cao Boi motions him over and tells him to sit down on the beach. Dr. Cao Boi then starts explaining that Brad is suffering from no ordinary headache, but from what the Vietnamese call a “bad nguyen”

(Okay, someone please help me here. On the show it sounded like he pronounced it “bad win”, and the only way I know how to spell “win” in Vietnamese is “nguyen”. Now, I can barely spell in my native tongue, as I’m sure you’ve discovered. They only way I came up with nguyen is because there is this awesome noodle house near where I live called Andy Nguyen’s, and that’s how you pronounce it and say it there. (hi Andy!) But I am SO far out of my league here… if someone can help me correctly define and spell this, I’d be so very appreciative!)

So anyway, for now we’ll refer to it as the “BW” until we can get a review from the line judges. Cao Boi sits Brad down, and begins to “help” him by mushing his face together and sticking his thumbs in his eyes. (I’m sorry, but this doesn’t look like it’s going to relieve any pain from where I’m sitting. This reminds me of when I was little, and if I told my dad I had a headache, he would offer to kick me in the shin to take my mind off the pain in my head. But my dad’s no Vietnamese monk, so I shouldn’t let that color my judgment here.)

So Cao Boi continues to ferociously attack this BW, now plucking and pinching the skin between Brad’s eyes. He really looks like he’s plucking a chicken, and it beginning to leave quite a distinct red mark on Brad’s face. Cao Boi says, “you got it, you got a touch of BW… it’s not real bad, but it’s not real great.” Then suddenly he stops the commotion and stands up and says, “There, you feel better now, you’re headache will be gone in a few minutes.”

Brad looks a little dazed, and the camera zooms in on the dark red mark between his eyes. Cao Boi looks at the mark and says, “That will go away in a day or two… that’s your indicator.” I guess the mark is a measure of how severe the BW was? Both Cao Boi and Brad admit it’s not too bad (Brad has no mirror though, how does he know?). However, as soon as Brad stumbles back to camp, Becky and Jenny start cracking up and pointing at his face, wondering what the heck Cao Boi did to him. Brad however, is satisfied. He has a new mark on his face, and a heck of a story to tell his friends back home… but no more headache.

Aitu Tribe

Billy, J.P. and Ozzy go to retrieve tree mail. They find their tribal flag waiting for them, as well as the notification of their first competition, which will be a combined immunity and reward challenge. And then suddenly we hear Billy sharing his thoughts on the upcoming competition. Of course he wants to see his team win, but then he adds “…but even if we lose, it’s not the end of the world, it’s the beginning of the game.” Nicely stated, Billy! Way to keep things in perspective!

Combined Reward and Immunity Challenge

The cameras zoom up towards the beach, and we find Jeff waiting for the survivors. He looks all sporty in his straw cowboy hat and cool blue linen shirt. Jeff wants to talk for a moment about the marooning and the chickens. Yul gives his account about how he had a chicken, handed it off to a tribe mate, and the next thing he knew the chicken was gone and someone else was making off with it. Jeff asks him to point out who took the chicken, and Yul looks around a bit, and then points out Jonathan from the Raro tribe who is busy looking up at the sky and avoiding eye contact. Jonathan makes light of it, and says he just grabbed the chicken I the midst of the chaos. And then throws out a “Sorry, dude” in the general direction of Yul.

It’s time for the challenge. And this first time around, they have to assemble a puzzle boat, and then install seven braces on the boat to keep it together. They then all have to paddle out and retrieve a lit torch off the beach, and then paddle back to shore. Then they disassemble the boat, grab the braces, and run them up the beach. There they find a set of four puzzles that they have to put together, one representing each direction (North, South, East, West) of a compass. Once the puzzles are together, the braces are uses as the rungs of a ladder to get them up a platform. They have to put the four directional puzzles in the correct spot in a large picture of a compass that is halfway up the platform. Once that’s done, they have to get all members of their tribe up to the top of the platform, and light their tribes fire barrel at the top.

The first three tribes that light their barrel get flint, and avoid going to tribal council. In addition, the first tribe wins an extra reward of a fire-making kit containing: kindling, waterproof matches, and kerosene. The last tribe must of course vote someone out later that night at tribal council.

Jeff then mentions that there is one more twist. He holds up a note, but says the contents of the note will remain secret until after the challenge.

So then they’re off! It’s like every Survivor challenge you’ve seen. Herds of castaways running down the beach and attacking their first roadblock. Both the Puka and Aitu tribes make fast work of the puzzle boat. Puka has just a slight lead, but both head out to the fire torches without much incident. The Raro tribe fumbles up a bit, but finally gets it together and push off from shore just as the first two tribes are reaching their torches. The Hiki tribe however is having all sorts of problems, everyone kind of frantically doing their own thing and not working together very well. Suddenly, the Raro tribe’s boat begins to fall apart in the water. It slows them way down, but they get to their torch just as the first two teams hit the beach. Puka and Aitu race up to the puzzles as Hiki finally shoves off and heads towards their torch. Raro suddenly has a brain freeze, and can’t seem to coordinate their paddling. They flail in the water as Hiki starts making up ground. Meanwhile, Puka and Aitu attack the puzzles, and are almost halfway through by the time Raro finally makes it up to shore. Jonathan and Adam start working on the puzzles for Raro, and Hiki finally paddles back up to the beach. Puka finally gets the last puzzle together and starts building the ladder… Aitu is right behind. Puka makes quick work of the ladder and races up to claim first. Aitu follows shortly after. Adam and Jonathan of Raro finally figure out the puzzles, and in their haste the start building the ladder and racing up it… forgetting the puzzles behind them. It isn’t until Candice is going up the ladder, the second to last team member, that she sees that the spots meant to hold them are empty. Candice scrambles back down to grab them as Hiki tries to take advantage of the blunder and finish their puzzles. But Hiki is too far behind, and after the puzzles are placed correctly, Raro scoots up the ladder and lights their fire barrel to come in third. They look relieved, but a little sheepish for stumbling so badly.

Jeff distributes the three parts of the immunity idol to the three winning teams. Hiki is told that they will have to go to tribal council tonight and vote off one of their own, but first Jeff has to reveal the twist that he mentioned before the challenge.

The twist is familiar; the losing tribe has to pick one member of any of the other tribes to go spend two nights along on Exile Island. On the island there is one bag of water, a machete, flint, and a pot… and somewhere is hidden an immunity idol that will keep the bearer safe up until the final four. Every time someone is sent to Exile Island, they will receive an additional clue to help them discover the location of the idol.

The Hiki tribe starts deliberating, but for some strange reason the guys step out to get a good look at the rest of the tribes as they are deciding, and all of the women hang back. It ends up being only Sekou and Nate that make the decision, and the girls all just go along with it. (Hey… ladies… get your butts out there! You have a voice too!)

After the little overview of the “chicken stealing” incident was rehashed in front of all of the tribes, Nate and Sekou decided to punish the thief and send Jonathan to Exile Island.

Exile Island

Jonathan pouts, being the first person sent to be alone with his thoughts on Exile Island. They drop him off on a small island with a flat beach and what looks like an ancient shipwreck sticking up from the sand. He trudges up the beach with his handy-dandy clue notebook under his arm. He’s still reeling from the decision, trying to make sense of why he was chosen for such a fate. “I think it was because I took the Asian guys’ chicken that the African-American guys chose me. I was so shocked by what happened, I didn’t even have a comeback.” Well, good to know that this separation by race hasn’t resulted in Jonathan grouping everyone together under a label. I was all impressed by your insights on Day 1, Jonathan, now you’re sounding like a whiney kid that was sent to time out.

He reviews the clue of the day:

To make a top grade,
stand in a line.
If the southern isle vanishes,
a salvation you’ll find.

Jonathan thinks, I believe rightly so, that the first line of the clue is referring to the letter “A”. He sees something in the formation of the shipwreck that kind of looks like an “A”, so he plops down and starts digging beneath it. It’s reminiscent of “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World” and the digging under the giant “W”. But maybe Jonathan can’t see the similarities like I do from my couch at home. Regardless, he’s still pouting and not really into it, so he gives up after a while.

Hiki Tribe

Back at the doomed camp, the racially unified tribe quickly splits down gender lines, and the boys and girls discuss strategy, separately. The girls quickly realize they have numbers in their favor, and decide that their difficulties are a result of the fact that the tribe has had a hard time establishing leadership, and as a result no one is working in unison. They decide that Sekou is the one to blame for that, and he quickly becomes their target.

On the other side of the beach, the boys also realize that the girls have the numbers, and determine that they have to coax one of the girls to their side. Since Stephannie has been left out of all the reindeer games, they target her. Sekou soon corrals her in the bushes, and tells her that she is in a dangerous position. That even if the three girls successfully vote off the two boys, she will then be odd man out because Rebecca and Sundra are like “two peas in a pod.” Sekou then tries to convince her that it makes more sense to align herself with folks that are together not because of where they live (both of the other girls are from New York), but that she should stick with people that will be better equipped to help her survive in the harsh environment.

Sekou then begins to ramble on in what must be one of the worst thought-out speeches in Survivor history, to demonstrate why he is clearly the right person to align with… saying she should stick with him, someone that can “bring on some fire.” Stephannie stops him. “We don’t have any fire yet, though.” Sekou shifts his weight, looks uncomfortable, “That’s alright… when I build a fire, (pause) …then I better keep it going, because if you all boot me out there ain’t gonna be no more fire!”

What the hell? Can someone please draw me a diagram so I can follow this logic?

Obviously, I’m not the only one that was less than convinced by this argument. Stephannie politely listens to the rest of Sekou’s rambling, and then they separate. Stephannie then revels in the fact that as the outsider, she has all the power because she is the swing vote. The girls want to get rid of Sekou. The boys want to get rid of Sundra. Stephannie gets to stay put either way.

We then get a sweeping camera view of the huge shipwreck set built for tribal council. They make their way up to the fire and grab their torches. Jeff quickly asks to be caught up on how things are going and if anyone has stepped up as leader. Rebecca pipes up and said that Sekou did kind of by default, since he seemed to know the quickest and best way to put up a shelter. Sekou agrees, and seems to enjoy about bit talking about how he applied what he know to help the tribe get settled, and everyone seemed to gravitate to him as a leader as a result. The girls all roll their eyes… ever so slightly. Then Nate gets his turn to describe the tribe, and sweetly says the tribe has a “beautiful spirit”, and that they are like a little family. The girls all nod their agreement. They do some more small talk, discussing the obvious pairing with Sundra and Rebecca, and with Sekou and Nate. Stephannie knows she’s the one with the decision to make, and says her vote will be based on trying to fix where she thinks the weakness are in the tribe. And then it’s time to vote.

It’s already pre-determined how everyone will vote except for Stephannie. They tease us, by letting us see her write the first letter of her selection, “S”. Of course we don’t really know if the S is for Sekou or for Sundra… and we’ll have to wait a whole 30 seconds or so to find out.

Then it’s time to read the votes. One for Sekou, one for Sundra, one for Sekou, one for Sundra… and the final vote: Sekou.

Sekou is gracious about it, and wishes his tribe luck. Jeff, (clearly puzzled as once again the first person voted out of the season is a strong player that could be a great help to his tribe in these early days), hands them flint for fire and sends them on their way.

We get a little goodbye speech from Sekou. He tells us how he believes a good leader can instill some guidance, and that he’s sure that he did that for his tribe. He tells us that they must of seen that he was a “real strong leader”, and as a result they are going to be a “real strong tribe”, and that he’s proud of that. Again… the logic of his statements is a bit puzzling, because of course if they DID view him as a good strong leader, he probably would still be there. But he’s taking it all in stride, and we leave Sekou with him telling us, “My torch may be out, but my flame is still burning.” Awww, Sekou… we’re gonna miss you.

2006-09-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Here's how our survivors stacked up before the first episode:

ADAM:
Interesting Fact: Adam stripped naked at the second Woodstock festival and was pictured that way in Newsweek magazine. I thought you looked familiar! First Impression Points: 11 out of 16

BECKY:
Interesting Fact: Becky enjoys doing "hot yoga". Does this refer to the temperature, or the relative "hotness" of the participants? Do those city councilmen in New York know they're segregating yoga classes by hotness..??? First Impression Points: 11 out of 16

BILLY:
Interesting Fact: Billy wrestles professionally under the name "Spanish Fly". Very subtle, Billy. For some reason, I don't think you're going to be a "fly under the radar" kind of guy. First Impression Points: 9 out of 16

BRAD:
Interesting Fact: Brad was allegedly hand-picked for this season of Survivor by Mark Burnett himself when he spotted him in a restaurant. Burnett's First Impression Points must have been off the charts! Mine however: 9 out of 16

CANDICE:
Interesting Fact: Watching Survivor:Africa inspired Candice to do service work in Africa. I mean, she went and lived in a mud hut! Who says that TV is a bad influence? She's an early favorite. First Impression Points: 15 out of 16

CAO BOI:
Interesting Fact: Cao Boi is the world-record holder in Marathon Softball where he played for 100 hours. You know he's just hoping for a endurance competition involving softball! First Impression Points: 9 out of 16.

CECILIA:
Interesting Fact: Cecilia didn't learn to speak English until she was 16. Maybe she shouldn't let on she knows English at all! You know, be the quiet observant type... and don't say anything that can be used against her later! First Impression Points: 8 out of 16

CRISTINA:
Interesting Fact: Cristina has gone through not one, but TWO life threatening situations during her career as a police officer. Immunity challenges? Bring 'em on!! This girl's not going down without a fight. First Impression Points: 10 out of 16

JENNY:
Interesting Fact: Jenny used to be a local TV reporter, and is not afraid to admit she likes being the center of attention. And they cast her on a reality show... really? What are the odds? First Impression Points: 8 out of 16

JESSICA:
Interesting Fact: Jessica is a Nor Cal Roller girl who goes by the name "Flicka Flame" and a performance artist with a fire-related act. I just hope she doesn't bring some of those swinging fire balls to the island like that girl did last season. That was just disturbing. First Impression Points: 8 out of 16

JONATHAN:
Interesting Fact: Jonathan has already appeared previously on two other CBS shows, "CSI" and "The Nanny". Hmmmm... contestants in CBS reality shows that already have a history with CBS productions tend to make it till late in the game whether they deserve it or not. (See: Erika of BB7) So lets see how he does and how my theory stands up. First Impression Points: 13 out of 16

JP:
Interesting Fact: J.P. received a full volleyball scholarship to California State University. Yet another volleyball player! There seem to be a whole slew of them this time around. Wow, if they can get past that whole racial tension thing, they can have a heck of a tournament during their downtime on the beach! I hope someone remembers to bring a ball. First Impression Points: 13 out of 16

NATHAN:
Interesting Fact: Nate began playing the violin when he was only 8 years old. Maybe he'll bring it with him on the island? He could play soft romantic music for the tribe while they all eat grubs by the light of the campfire. First Impression Points: 8 out of 16

OZZY:
Interesting Fact: Ozzy camped all the way from Panama to San Diego over the course of five months. This Survivor thing should be a breeze! He’s just going to get all restless when he finds out he has to stay put in the same place for 39 days. First Impression Points: 10 out of 16

PARVATI:
Interesting Fact: Parvati works as a female boxer AND a cocktail waitress. That's right guys: tip well, and tip often. First Impression Points: 14 out of 16

REBECCA:
Interesting Fact: Rebecca is a make-up artist for "The View," and does make-up for former Survivor Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (Psst, Rebecca... don't bring up the subject of the Morning-After pill around Elisabeth. And if you do, be prepared to reapply some make-up.) First Impression Points: 8 out of 16

SEKOU:
Interesting Fact: Sekou recorded his first professional record at age 18... and the album eventually went gold! Now he's a professional jazz musician, and has worked with the likes of Quincy Jones, Coolio, Michael Jackson, Liza Minnelli, and Luther Vandross. Come on everybody, let's be groupies! First Impression Points: 13 out of 16

STEPHANNIE:
Interesting Fact: Stephannie was previously in the United States Armed Forces and served in Desert Storm during the Gulf War. Didn't that last for about 39 days too? First Impression Points: 10 out of 16

SUNDRA:
Interesting Fact: Sundra has also appeared previously on another CBS show (CSI:Miami). I imagine she's going to be disappointed when she finds out she can't run to the commissary this time to grab a sandwich when the cameras aren't rolling. First Impression Points: 9 out of 16

YUL:
Interesting Fact: Yul helped draft sections of the Homeland Security Bill and other technology-related legislation. And that's just a snippit from this guy's background. According to his bio, he's some kind of wunderkind of the business and technology world. Keep an eye on this guy. I don't mean just in Survivor, I mean in general. I think we'll be hearing more from him in the outside world. First Impression Points: 16 of 16

2006-09-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

Predictions by Probst

As you know, this entire "new" season of Survivor has already taken place. Except for the selection of the winner at the live season finale... all the competitions, reward challenges, and tribal councils are already completed, edited, and ready for broadcast.

However, months ago, when it really was days before the season kicked off... Jeff Probst took a look at the new location, and the new recruits, and gave his thoughts on the new season... as well as the latest castaways and how he thought each would fare. This was broadcast a few days ago on the TV Guide Channel's "Survivor: Cook Islands Preview."

One "secret" that they leaked to us was that they would be keeping some traditions from previous seasons. This includes the Exile Island twist from last season, and a “marooning” of the cast in the opening, just as they did in the very first season. That’s right, no more of these little motorboats taking the survivors and their belongings safely up to shore so their little tootsies don’t have to get wet. They’re going to have to grab what they need, leap off the boat, and paddle to shore! Can they actually be surprised by this? Have they not seen this show before..???

And once they all struggle to shore, how are they all going to do? Well Jeff gave his two-cents on what he thought of each contestant. In his own words, he identified "who he thought would be an asset, and who he thought would just be a pain in the ass." Brilliant!

So how did Jeff think everyone would do? Let's look in...!

Aitutaki Tribe (Hispanic)

They kicked things off with Christina. They provided a visual of her welding a machete, while they mentioned her back story of being shot twice in the line of duty, and at one time being told she would most likely lose the use of her left arm. “Christina, to me, seems like she has a real shot of winning this game.” I’m sure Jeff’s use of the word “shot” was an oversight. Nicely done, Jeff! Way to be sensitive!

J.P. commented offhandedly that even though filming hadn’t officially began, that the producers had already started screwing with them since they arrived in the Cook Islands. He wasn’t surprised though, and said he was ready to be messed with. Well, you’re in the right place then, J.P.! These Survivor guys love to torture you all… and if they don’t feel like they’ve done enough to you on the island, they’ll attack you after the fact with “creative” editing. Case in point? There was no commentary given by Jeff about J.P. See, J.P., they’re still screwing with you!

Ozzy was described as heading to the island “with a lifelong love affair with the water.” That’s good to know, Ozzy, because that’s the only kind of lovin’ you’re going to be getting for the next 39 days. (Unless this really IS going to be a season of Survivor unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. We can only hope!) Jeff’s impression of Ozzy? Short and sweet: “Ozzy is another guy I actually think can win this game.”

Cecilia, looked a little puzzled while trying to figure out what to do with the one cooking pot her tribe was given. We also got a little “plumber’s crack” shot as she bent over to do some housecleaning in her little shelter. And Jeff didn’t beat around the bush about her chances: “Cecilia has no chance of winning this game, that’s what I think. But I think she’s going to be an asset because of her attitude.” Well, there you go. That’s the Survivor version of “she has a nice personality.”

Introduced as a wrestler, guitarist, and former Marine… Billy just looked like a big boy as he lumbered around camp. In his audio he is heard saying that he has a black belt in Judo and Karate, but prefers to wrestle. And Jeff seems to love him. “He’s just seems extremely likeable. It would be hard to vote him out, especially early. I think he’ll be around for a while.” I’m not sure his tribe mates will think he’s so likeable when they hear he’s “planning to play human chess with these guys”. Billy, the most powerful piece on the chessboard is the queen. Are you ready to be a queen to win this game…?

Manihiki Tribe (African-American)

The first tribemate we are introduced to is Nathan. Nathan’s strategy? “I’m not gonna be the bossy type, I’m just gonna be a hard worker”. But then he added, “I’ll make my moves when I need to make my moves.” So keep an eye out for Nathan making his moves! And what does Jeff have to say? “He just has a way about him that is extremely likeable. I would hate to see him leave early.” Come on guys, let’s start up a collection to buy Jeff a Thesaurus for Christmas. He needs to come up with another phrase besides “extremely likable.”

Then we get a brief introduction to Stephannie. Stephannie, we are told, has auditioned for Survivor three times. But her dogged determination has paid off! Now she is far from home, stranded on an island with strangers and no water or food. Way to go, Stephannie! Jeff had some nice things to say. “Stephannie's been through a lot of military training, she’s getting her second college degree, she really applies herself.” Sadly, he doesn’t mention Stephannie and the game of Survivor in the same sentence, so I can only assume he doesn’t have the highest expectations for her.

Rebecca is our make-up artist from “The View”. She referred to her professional background as “I come from a tough ship basically, where I’m dealing with a lot of celebrities and a lot of divas. You have to be able to finagle, and to be able to not offend anyone, but at the same time get what you need from that person.” I’m not sure if she’s had experience finagling for the support she’ll need on Survivor, but it will be fun to see if she can translate tap-dancing around celebrities to shmoozing for votes. Jeff seems to think she’ll do okay however. “A woman that can hold her own, it’s something you need out here.”

We barely get a blip of Sundra. We’re told only that she’s a single mom and that she has her 5-year old son as a guardian angel to get her through the tough days. Since Jeff didn’t even bother to offer his comments on Sundra’s chances, let’s put our eggs in someone else’s basket. Good news is, Sundra probably won’t have to be missing her son very long, she’ll probably be out early. (By an “unfortunate production incident”, mark my words!)

And the last member of the Manihiki tribe we meet is Sekou. Jeff comments, “I think on his tribe initially, he’ll be one of the leaders mainly because of age and experience.” But when Sekou starts talking on his own behalf, it becomes clear that the experience he plans to rely on is his “survivor skills from growing up in the city in some bad neighborhoods.” Well, there’s something to be said for street smarts, but unless he had to boil gutter water to make it drinkable, forage for berries in Central Park, and convince the local gang not to “vote him off” the block… he may not have a lot of applicable survivor skills to draw upon. But I’m sure he’ll be “extremely likeable.”

Raratonga Tribe (Caucasian)

The review of this tribe begins with Jessica, a.k.a. “Flicka Flame” the fire dancer and roller derby girl. We see crazy-haired Jessica dragging things up the beach as we hear Jeff note that Jessica “looks a lot like Courtney from last season”. ( You remember Courtney, right? Irritating beyond belief, and in her own personal bliss when she won her luxury items in a challenge and then proceeded to give everyone a disturbing display of fire dancing as she swung balls of flame around camp?) Yep, we’ve got another one of those this year. Jessica gave her opinion on the matter, “To have another fire performer, that’s cool! At least we’re artists!” That’s right, Jessica… Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh, Donatello… and you and Courtney. So what does Jeff think? “If she can get some momentum, she'll probably be around for a while”. But then he quietly added, “…can't win the game."

Then we see Adam. There isn’t a single shot of him where he isn’t shirt-free and doing something physical. Adam also thinks that is where his strength lies. “I think I’m physically better than most of the other contestants.” Awww… cute AND humble! Well, Jeff has another take on the matter. “Adam… not gonna win this game. He'll probably want to punch me for saying that. It (the game) plays on another level he may just not be into, or may not have the skills yet. It's a dicey social game." Sorry Adam, the King has spoken. You can have all the strength in the world, but if you don’t have the social skills… you’re off the island!

Poor Parvarti… we barely get to visit her. We get the mention that she’s a boxer, and hear her telling us that she’s “done martial arts ever since I was little,” as she kicks the surf up with her toes. But that’s about it. No insight from Jeff on her chances in this battle. Maybe Jeff was afraid if he said something unsupportive, she would box his ears?

Then we get the glowy-halo light around Candice. We’re told that she’s a straight-A student, and the youngest player this season… but that she has a take-charge attitude that will certainly serve her well in this game. Jeff seems impressed as well. "If I were predicting people that had a shot of winning, I would put Candice on that list." Candice is then heard reminiscing about how she’s been very driven and competitive her whole life. In fact, that her parents actually told her growing up that she had “to learn how to let somebody else win sometimes”. Candice continues, telling us that she strives to win so much that, “I think that pisses people off sometimes.” Well Missy, you’re not here to make friends, so go for it! If you win the million dollars, you can buy new friends!

Our final visit is with Jonathan. We catch him reclining back on the beach, giving his interview. His thoughts on the competition? “Some of these guys are obviously super workout psycho’s. You know, muscles on muscles. And if you have nothing but muscle on you, that’s all you have to lose. Losing muscle is going to be more debilitating to them than a fat old guy like me.” Heyyy… I kind of like this guy’s attitude! He can be out of shape, and be superior about it! And what does Jeff think? "Jonathan is one of my favorites. Not necessarily likeable, but I hope he lasts a while. I think he'll create good stories." Wha… someone that isn’t “extremely likeable?” Well hell… we’re gonna have to keep an eye on this guy!

Puka Puka Tribe (Asian-American)

In our last tribe, we first meet Jenny. We see Jenny milling about the camp site, while we hear how she plays competitive volleyball year-round, and how that makes her feel as if she’s prepared for the physical requirements of Survivor. (Uhhh… Jenny, there’s a professional volleyball player on the Aitutaki tribe. If that’s all you’re bringing to the table, you may be outmatched.) In addition she tells us, “Mentally, I think I can take on the challenges of the game.” Jeff seems to see something in her as well. "I would expect her to be around for a long time, and I would think that if she got in trouble, she would fight to stay in this game."

Then we’re introduced to Brad. Brad’s little overview is all about how since he kept his true sexuality under wraps for years, he is well prepared for the dishonesty and deception of this game. Brad goes on to give us details, about how in high school he played football, was co-captain of the football team, and dated a cheerleader… while in college he dated a sorority girl, all the time knowing that he was gay. He also throws in that he likes to swim and fish, and that he’s excited and “ready to rock and roll”. I just don’t know what to make of Brad. Obviously, Jeff didn’t either… because he gave no commentary on his thoughts on Brad’s chances in the game.

Now we meet Cao Boi. Right away, we hear Jeff’s impressions: "The only thing about Cao Boi is he's a LOT. He kind of invades your space a little. He wants to tell you something, and he really wants to tell you about it. Cao Boi, if I had to guess, would be gone early." Uh oh…. doesn’t sound good for our resident eccentric. Cao Boi is confident however, quite sure that he’s the right kind of guy to win this game. He makes a strong statement: “I live by my honor, what I say goes… no exceptions.” Oh man… Cao Boi, you don’t really know how to finesse, do you? This game is all about finesse, wise one. I guess you’ll find that out soon enough.

Jenny, a former kick box instructor, is introduced to us as she is throwing kicks on the beach. In her interview, she talks about how her young looks will help her. “I have a baby face, so others will see someone that doesn’t look judgmental.” I guess this means that she actually is judgmental, and the others won’t see it coming? Sadly, being judgmental isn’t really defined by your looks, it’s more about your voice. As baby faced as you may be, if you’re throwing snarky comments around the campfire, you’re going to be labeled judgmental! Jeff passed on the opportunity to talk about Jenny… probably didn’t want to be judged.

And finally, we have Yul. They show shots of him working hard around camp, and then see him quietly sitting on a log while he talks about why he wanted to be on Survivor. “I like physical competition, I like intellectual puzzles, and there’s nothing out there that combines those two elements like Survivor.” As the voiceover talks more about Yul, they say things like he’s the “type of Renaissance man that has a great shot at winning this game.” Even Jeff can’t contain his enthusiasm for this guy. "Yul could absolutely win this game. I'd be delighted if he did, he's a super likeable guy." Wow… not extremely likeable, SUPER likeable. Careful Jeff… you’re letting your favoritism show!

So there you go. That’s our little taste of who’s going after the big prize this season, and whom the insiders think has a real chance to win. But you never know… maybe the ones that were mentioned the least will be the ones that do the best. I guess we’ll have to find out with the rest of the world. Get your TiVo’s ready, Survivor starts on Thursday!

2006-08-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

Get Ready! Here comes Survivor: Cook Islands

Hold on to your hats! It's a new season of Survivor, and they've already got a jump start on the backbiting and the snarky comments. No, I'm not talking about the contestants, I'm talking about the media and their reaction to the announcement that this season the tribes will be separated by race. It appears that there will be intially four tribes: an Asian-American tribe, an African-American tribe, a Hispanic tribe, and a Caucasian tribe.

It appears some city councilmen in New York are all up in arms claiming "the show's divisive premise would do nothing but promote the spread of negative stereotypes based on the actions of the different tribes." Hmmmm... like reality shows as a whole don't promote most sterotypes already? Ummmm.... don't they kind of look for that type of thing during casting? Or am I the only one that thinks a large percentage of the contestants on all reality shows are chosen precisely because they behave on the extreme end of the segment of America that they represent? Don't get me wrong! I watch just about every reality show out there, so they're obviously doing something right! But I guess I personally am not any more offended this time around than I was last season when it was the strappingly handsome young men and the young perky girls against the old men and old women. So anyway, Survivor decided to take the "in-your-face" route this time around. Like it or hate it, they're hoping folks will tune in.

So if you're interested, join me to watch them struggle, suffer, sabotage, and ultimately survive... all from the snuggly-warm comfort of our own homes. The new season kicks off on Thursday, September 14th at 8 p.m. on CBS.

2006-08-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

Meet the Survivors!

Okay, it's time we get to know this latest group of guinea pigs a little bit better. Based on the little bit of information that is made available about each of the contestants prior to the season, I've developed a highly-technical scoring system of "First Impression" points. I took a look at four characteristics that are crucial to the long-term survival of the players in this game, and determined how they all stacked up:

Sex Appeal: Because, let's face it. They're all far from home, hanging out on the beach all day with each other. Looks get noticed! And it will get you further than you think in this game. (Remember Amber??)

Smarts: A keen intellect is key! Are you the kind of player that's really going to be aware of what's going on, and how it's going to affect you? Can you figure out some of the brain puzzles that come later in the competition? Can you tell the difference between poisonous and non-poisonous plants and critters? I tell ya, your mind is your greatest weapon!

Strength: And on the other end of the scale, pure brute strength has its value too. How many competitions do you just know are going to absolutely destroy certain players just based on their physical weakness. The strong do survive!

Strategy: Ahhh... truly, what it all comes down to. You can have all the other attributes in spades, but if you're on the wrong side of an alliance, it's not going to help you a bit. Richard Hatch introduced all of us to this many moons ago. Too bad no one introduced him to H&R Block.

So let's review the castaways. Let the scoring begin!

2006-08-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

Adam

Adam Gentry
28
San Diego, CA
Copier Sales (really... copier sales??)
Leo

Interesting fact: Adam stripped naked at the second Woodstock festival and was pictured that way in Newsweek magazine. Way to go, Adam!

Sex Appeal: aaaa
Heck, you've got to give it to him. Nice smile, he's done some modeling, and apparently he doesn't mind bearing his bum in public!

Smarts: aa
He did go to Virginia Polytechnic Institute, which implies some smarts. However, he's selling copiers mainly to churches? How many copy machines can a church need? And don't most churches hold on to things until they absolutely positively have no alternative but to replace it with a new one? You may want to go back to being a personal trainer. I think you could sell that better.

Strength: aaaa
Let's see... he used to be a personal trainer, he's a basketball player, swimmer, and loves beach activities. Yeah, that should all come in handy.

Strategy: a
You know, I just can't get over the selling copiers to churches thing. It doesn't sound like a good strategy to me, so I think this may be his weakness.

Overall, seems sweet, and a good team player. They'll probably eat him alive.

For more on Adam, take a look at his official Survivor Bio and his MySpace Page.

2006-08-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

Becky

Becky Lee
28
Washington, D.C.
Attorney
Virgo

Interesting Fact: Becky enjoys doing "hot yoga". What is this...? I must find out. "Hot" yoga sounds much better than boring old-fashioned, "non-hot" yoga.

Sex Appeal: aaa
She's cute and looks sweet. I'm sure the guys will like her, and yet the girls are less intimidated by "cute" so hopefully the claws won't come out too early.

Smarts: aaa
She's an attorney! Tell all the lawer jokes you want, it takes some brain power to pass the bar exam.

Strength: aa
She plays tennis and flag football, so she's active... but may have a hard time up against some of the bigger guys.

Strategy: aaaa
Attorneys know how to argue a point, and think on their feet. I think she'll be strong here!

If she flies under the radar for a bit, and gets some strong allies on her side, I think Miss Becky will go far.

If you want to find out more about Becky, take a look at her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

Billy

Virgilio "Billy" Garcia
36
New York, NY
Heavy Metal Guitarist
Taurus

Interesting Fact: Billy is a professional wrestler that goes by the name "Spanish Fly." I just happened to look up what else goes by the name "Spanish Fly"... and ladies, I think he's trying to tell us something!

Sex Appeal: aa
From this picture, I think he may be trying to ride the Johnny Depp - Pirate wave. But he needs some more eye liner or something. But he does play in a band! That always gets extra credit.

Smarts: a
While he was sick when he was 15, he heard the song "Juke Box Hero" on the radio and that's what made him want to pursue becoming a rock and roll star. What would have happened to this poor guy if he would have heard "She Works Hard For The Money" instead???

Strength: aaaa
He is trained in the martial arts, he wrestles, and he is a big boy. This is definitely his strongest attribute.

Strategy: aa
When he was young, he saved his lunch money to buy his first electric guitar. That shows focus and an abilty to keep his eye on a goal. If he can translate that focus to this game, he may do okay!

If his strength helps his tribe win a lot of challenges, then he should make it to the merge no problem. But that same strength can be a threat once everybody is competing against everyone else... so he better have another trick up his sleeve by then.

For more on Billy, take a look at his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

Brad

Brad Virata
29
Los Angeles, CA
Fashion Director
Sagittarius

Interesting Fact: Brad was allegedly hand-picked for this season of Survivor by Mark Burnett himself when Burnett spotted him in a restaurant. What do you think he was doing that got Mr. Burnett's attention?? Was he eating grubs?

Sex Appeal: aaa
He certainly has it, but he seems to know he has it... so he loses a point.

Smarts: aa
Gosh, when you look at his "Favorites" portion of his official Survivor profile, he seems to have very sophisticated tastes, and likes to use lots of big words. But since I'm not sure if this is intelligence or arrogance... I have to go the middle of the road here.

Strength: aaa
Let's see... weight training, running, rollerblading, power yoga, and beach volleyball. Well okay, so he's not a couch potato... but is he strong? I'm not sure. For general fitness though, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Strategy: a
If we find out that he strategically placed himself near Mark Burnett, and knew just the right thing to do or say to land him on the show, than I'll come back and give him top points here. But because I think it was all about happening to be at the right place at the right time, I can't give him a lot of credit for that. Being "Lucky" will only get you so far in Survivor, (although it seems he's making a decent career out of it!)

I'm not sure about Brad. If we find him half as entertaining as he seems to find himself, then I hope he stays around for a while.

To learn more about Brad, take a look at his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

Candice

Candice Woodcock
23
Fayetteville, NC
Pre-Med Student
Scorpio

Interesting Fact: Survivor:Africa inspired Candice to do service work in Africa. Following her freshman year of college, she spent 10 and a half weeks living in a mud hut with a tribal family in the western highlands of Kenya. Gee... the summer after my freshman year in college, I got a job at Baskin-Robbins. I feel like a schmuck.

Sex Appeal: aaaa
Cute, athletic, smart. I think the guys and girls will both like her.

Smarts: aaaa
Let's see... A perfect score on the math portion of her SATs, two full merit scholarships, B.S. in biology and psychology with a minor in chemistry. Yep. She's leading the pack in this category.

Strength: aaa
Watersports, flag football, soccer, rock climbing, rafting, kayaking, camping, hiking, snow and water skiing. The only reason she doesn't get four points is I think some of the men will have size and leverage on her.

Strategy: aaaa
She seems to have a good head on her shoulders, I think she'll be able to handle the strategic side of this game just fine.

Well, I think I've found an early favorite! I'm all kinds of impressed with this young lady. And if she gets voted out quickly, she's got a good future elsewhere.

For more on Candice, take a look at her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Cao Boi

Anh-Tuan "Cao Boi" Bui
42
Christiansburg, VA
Prelate, Loyal Order of Moose
Aries

Interesting Fact: Bui is the world-record holder in Marathon Softball where he played for 100 hours. Hmmm... is Marathon Softball an individual sport, or a team sport? If it's a team sport, wouldn't he share this record with the rest of the team? And if it's an individual sport... how the heck do you play softball by yourself??? I sure hope he talks about this around the campfire some night. I'm dying to know details.

Sex Appeal: a
Sorry Cao Boi, I'm just not feeling it. It's not you, it's me.

Smarts: aa
Another Virginia Tech alumni, so he definitely gets credit for that. But he can't seem to settle into a career... so he's still figuring out to apply what he learned.

Strength: aa
He's a biker and a hiker, so he may be fit... but I'm not sure how strong he'll be against the big boys.

Strategy: aaaa
Well, he's read Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman, a favorite of mine as well. I just have a hunch, he's going to be strong on the strategic side of things.

Okay, Cao Boi, just like me, the others my underestimate you. Feel free to prove me wrong!

You can find out more about Cao Boi on his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

Cecilia

Cecilia Mansilla
29
Oakland, CA
Tecknology Risk Consultant
Capricorn

Interesting Fact: Cecilia didn't learn to speak English until she was 16, but went on to secure college scholarships to all the schools where she applied a mere two years later. Wow! Fast adapting skills! THAT will come in handy.

Sex Appeal: aa
She seems pleasant enough, but I don't know if it will give her any strategic advantage.

Smarts: aaa
She's a smarty! Can she apply it to island life though?

Strength: aa
She works out, but there isn't much mention of specific physical skills she possesses. But if they have a volleyball competition, she may do okay.

Strategy: aaa
If she can adapt to a new life so readily at 16, hopefully she can so the same on the islands.

She's here, but is she ready to play? Let's find out.

For more on Cecilia, check out her official Survivor Profile.

2006-08-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

Cristina

Cristina Coria
35
Los Angeles, CA
Police Officer
Aires

Interesting Fact: Cristina has gone through not one, but TWO life threatening situations during her career as a police officer. Once almost crushed by a car, and the other when she was shot during a hostage standoff. What, so you think she's going to get rattled when tribemates talk behind her back and break their word to her? Uhhhh... I don't think so. She's made of tougher stuff.

Sex Appeal: aa
Too bad she can't wear her police uniform. The boys would give her extra points for that.

Smarts: aaa
I think she has street smarts, which in this game can be very valuable!

Strength: aa
I'm sure she's in shape, being a police officer and all. But again may not be able to wrestle the bigger boys to the ground without her handcuffs. (Hmmm... maybe those will be her luxury item?)

Strategy: aaa
I think that given her background, she's going to be able to read people and situations pretty effectively, and that it will give her a definite edge.

If you'd like to learn more about Cristina, take a look at her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Jenny

Jenny Guzon-Bae
36
Lake Forest, IL
Real Estate Agent
Taurus

Interesting Fact: Jenny used to be a local TV reporter, and is not afraid to admit she likes being the center of attention. And now she is a real estate agent, and gets to put pictures of herself up all over town! She must love that.

Sex Appeal: aaa
I think she's got some fiery spunk, and she admits she's going to demand some attention.

Smarts: aa
I think the smartest thing she can do is to think before she speaks... but I just don't get the impression she's that kind of girl. But I think she's going to be highly entertaining!

Strength: a
She plays volleyball, and used to be into gymnastics and ballet... but I think the competitions are going to demand more than she may have.

Strategy: aa
She's got experience selling other people's houses, and telling other people's stories... but for this adventure she's got to get in there and direct the reins herself. I'm not sure if she's up for that...?

I personally like her! But I'm not sure she's got what it takes to stay in the game until the end.

To learn more about Jenny, visit her official Survivor Bio, or watch her Audition Tape

2006-08-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

Jessica

Jessica Smith
27
Chico, CA
Performance Artist/Rollergirl
Aquarius

Interesting Fact: Wow, so many interesting things, what to choose? Jessica is a Nor Cal Roller girl who goes by the name "Flicka Flame." But she is not the favorite among the league members, some said she plays too rough and too hard. Can you believe that? She plays so rough that the other rollergirls are complaining! I can't wait to see this girl in action.

Sex Appeal: a
You know, I'm just not a multi-colored braided hair, shoulder-tattoo kind of person. But this is just my first impression, the tribemates may love it.

Smarts: a
She's very strong on the right-brained artistic side of things. But after being battered around a bit in the roller rink, I don't know how much she has on the left-brained puzzle-solving side.

Strength: aaaa
She makes the other rollergirls cry! I think even the men will be afraid of her.

Strategy: aa
She must know how to position herself for the win as a rollergirl. Lets hope she can do the same in this crazy game.

I'm predicting lots of drama and sparks out of Flicka Flame. I think everyone will either love her or hate her.

To learn more about Jessica, check out her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Jonathan

Jonathan Penner
44
Los Angeles, CA
Writer/Producer
Pisces

Interesting Fact: Jonathan has already appeared previously on two other CBS shows, "CSI" and "The Nanny". My gosh, haven't you already had your share of the pie??? Let the rest of us that have never seen our pretty little faces on TV get a shot. *sigh*

Sex Appeal: aaa
Well, I guess I don't know what he'll look like in his Survivor Buff on the beach, but he has a nice smile and pretty blue eyes. So he gets some points from me.

Smarts: aaa
He has a decent education, but he has learned a lot I bet by being involved with TV productions in the past. This is a show after all, as well as a game. That experience will come in handy.

Strength: aaa
His bio just kind of blurbs that he plays baseball, soccer, and tennis... but at the same time he has an extensive list of snack foods that he likes. So he may not be the fittest body on the beach, but he probably has size on his side compared to some of the others.

Strategy: aaaa
I just have to think that this TV guy is going to do well on this TV show. He knows what it's all about, and will try and position himself with the strongest group with the most air time.

He looks like a friendly ol' teddy bear. I hope he's there till the end.

If you'd like to learn more about Jonathan, take a look at his official Survivor Bio and his IMDb listing.

2006-08-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

J.P.

John "J.P." Calderon
30
Marina del Rey, CA
Professional Volleyball Player
Virgo

Interesting Fact: J.P. received a full volleyball scholarship to California State University, Long Beach. Volleyball! I had no idea I could have paid for college by being good at volleyball! All that studying, and I could have been at the beach instead.

Sex Appeal: aaaa
Professional volleyball player that does some modeling on the side. There you go, you've earned your points.

Smarts: aa
He was smart enough to figure out he could pay for college by being good at volleyball, I'll give him that!

Strength: aaaa
He's young and in good shape, he should be one of the stronger ones out there.

Strategy: aaa
Well, he has been a coach, and Survivor is a game. Maybe he'll figure out the right plays to make it to the end.

He's looking like a pretty all-around strong contender. I wouldn't be surprised to see him in it at the end.

For more on J.P., take a look at his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Nathan

Nathan "Nate" Gonzalez
26
Los Angeles, CA
Retail Sales
Leo

Interesting Fact: Nate began playing the violin when he was only 8 years old, and now he is in a hip-hop group. How do you get from violin, to hip-hop? Can you pull anything resembling a hip-hop beat from a violin? Nate, if you're working your violin training into your hip-hop act, you're amazing. If you're not, look into it! It could be the next big thing. Look what happened with Ian Anderson when he pulled his flute up on stage!

Sex Appeal: a
Again, the hair. I guess I have issues with hair. Maybe I should see someone about that.

Smarts: aa
He won the Lancaster Speech Tournament, so kudos for that. But it turns out that the only ones elegible to compete for it are students that go to his city college. But I'm sure I couldn't have won it, so he gets points.

Strength: aaaa
He's a big guy, looks like tough competition for any physical match.

Strategy: a
He sells shoes in the department store. Now stategically, everyone knows the department to work in is electronics. Much bigger commissions, and you get to watch the game when things are slow. So like our first castaway Adam, I also have to question Nathan's strategic thinking based on his career choice.

Okay Nate, be a big time team player until the merge, then crush them in the individual challenges afterwards and you'll do fine.

To learn more about Nate, take a look at his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Ozzy

Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth
25
Venice, CA
Waiter
Virgo

Interesting Fact: Ozzy camped all the way from Panama to San Diego over the course of five months. Wow! CBS should just strap a camera to his back and make a new show and call it “Panamaniac!” I also found this interesting… he likes vegan candy and Cocoa Puffs. So, if he’s a vegan, can he put milk on his Cocoa Puffs? Just wondering.

Sex Appeal: aaa
He’s got that cute tousle-head look and smiley eyes. The girls will like that.

Smarts: aaa
He’s got wilderness training like crazy. I don’t know about book smarts, but he’s like a superhero version of an Eagle Scout.

Strength: aaa
I don’t know how big and strong he is, but he can dive to 30 feet and can hold his breath under water for three minutes. That’s going to win him a competition or two.

Strategy: a
He obviously does well on his own, but I wonder if he’ll mesh well with a tribe. This may be his downfall.

He sounds like a fun guy. Hope he stays around for a while to entertain us.

Learn more about Ozzy on his official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

Parvati

Parvati Shallow
23
Los Angeles, CA
Boxer/Waitress
Virgo

Interesting Fact: Parvati works as a female boxer AND a cocktail waitress. Nice combination! Anyone gets too touchy-feely, or crosses the line, and she'll take care of them herself -- no bouncer needed! You go, girl!

Sex Appeal: aaaa
Yeah, she's got it. She was even a female boxer for Perfect 10 Model Boxing. I'd put a link to their site here, but then all you guys would just go there, and never come back and read the rest of my webpage.

Smarts: aaa
She had a degree in journalism with a minor in French. It's not rocket science, but rocket science is overrated, so I've been told. Extra points for putting herself through school though!

Strength: aaa
Again: she's a boxer. And four years on the swim team. (There might be some water events on the island.)

Strategy: aaaa
I love the strategy of backing up being a cocktail waitress by being a boxer. There's a whole lot a guys that aren't going to see THAT coming. They may not see her coming in Survivor, either. I can't wait to watch!

Go get 'em, Pavarti!

If you'd like to learn more about Pavarti, read her official Survior Bio.

2006-08-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

Rebecca

Rebecca Borman
34
Laurelton, NY
Make-up Artist
Virgo

Interesting Fact: Rebecca is an Emmy Award winning make-up artist for "The View," and does make-up for former Survivor Elisabeth Hasselbeck. You know we're all hoping she gossips about the behind the scenes drama of that show. Too bad her Survivor gig is after the whole Star Jones exit fiasco. It would have been entertaining to get her take on what it was like after the cameras went off that day!

Sex Appeal: aaa
LOVE her smile. And I like the braids on her! (What... you were expecting consistency?)

Smarts: aa
Hmmmm... she picked the one show to be on where non of the stars even get to wear make-up. You'd think she'd at least like to be on something that she could show off her craft. Maybe Big Brother 8?

Strength: a
Tennis, softball, and (surprise!) volleyball. But I'm afraid by comparison to some of the others though, she may not do too well.

Strategy: aa
Now, if she flashes that smile and is as friendly as she looks, and entertains the troops with lots of gossip from her workplace, they may want to keep her around just to hear more stories! I imagine otherwise it can get kind of boring on an island full of volleyball players with no volleyball.

Advice to you, Rebecca: Be helpful, be sweet, get close to a couple strong guys, and promise to give all the girls insider make-up tips if they keep you around. You never know what's going to be the right combination in this game.

To learn more about Rebecca, read her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T07:38:00.000-07:00

Sekou

Sekou Bunch
45
Los Angeles, CA
Jazz Musician/Recording Artist
Virgo

Interesting Fact: Only three years after picking up a bass guitar for the first time, Sekou recorded his first professional record at age 18... and the album eventually went gold! This man has found his talent, and is running with it.

Sex Appeal: aaa
Billy, take note: This is how you wear a bandana and an earring.

Smarts: aaa
I don't know about book smarts, but he knows how to take a passion and run all the way to the goal line with it. I hope he's passionate about winning Survivor!

Strength: aaa
He says he does weight training, but there are some young bucks on the island that may give hime a run for his money.

Strategy: aaaa
This guy is obviously a people person. He's got personality and life experience by the bucketful. I think folks will be drawn to him, and that he'll have a lot of influence in the tribe.

I hope he doesn't come on too strong and powerful in the early days and get pegged as a threat. Hopefully he'll get some loyal folks around him and be able to go far.

If you'd like to learn more about Sekou, take a look at his Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

Stephannie

Stephannie Favor
35
Columbia, SC
Nursing Student
Cancer

Interesting Fact: Stephannie was previously in the United States Armed Forces and served in Desert Storm during the Gulf War. I respect the heck out of that, and have nothing more to say.

Sex Appeal: aaa
Once again, a fantastic smile. And she's a veteran. And she sings gospel. And she's training to be a nurse. I think that makes her beautiful, inside and out.

Smarts: aaa
A nice degree from Clemson, Armed Forces background, nursing school... these are all going to help her do well.

Strength: a
Jogging? Frisbee? I'm afraid that won't help her against some of the other strong competition.

Strategy: aaa
She's bright, is obviously a care-taker, and has some military training. That's a powerful combination, and I bet she'll be observant and keep herself in the game.

I'm hoping she makes it to halfway and beyond... but with the game starting off with four small tribes, all having to vote people out, the physically weak may not get too far.

If you'd like to learn more about Stephannie, check out her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

Sundra

Sundra Oakley
31
Los Angeles, CA
Actress
Capricorn

Interesting Fact: Sundra has also appeared previously on another CBS show, CSI:Miami. CBS likes to take care of their own it seems. But does the love go both ways? Not according to Sundra's biography. See her "Strategy" score below...

Sex Appeal: aaaa
She's pretty, and an actress. I bet she'll be able to turn on the charm and the men will love her!

Smarts: aa
A college degree, and she attended Georgetown University. But I don't have any more information to go on...! But I'll toss her a couple points for the Georgetown mention.

Strength: aa
Running, soccer, boxing... so she's fit, but is she strong?

Strategy: a
Sundra was one of the few survivors that didn't mention "Survivor" as one of her favorite TV shows. She is the only survivor that didn't mention at least one CBS show as her favorite show. Bad, bad, strategy, Sundra.

Despite all her strengths, I predict that because of her lapse in judgement of not plugging any CBS shows as her favorite, she's going to be taken out by some "unforseen production incident" in the first episode.

If you'd like to learn more about Sundra, take a look at her official Survivor Bio.

2006-08-25T03:01:00.000-07:00

Yul

Yul Kwon
31
San Mateo, CA
Management Consultant
Aquarius

Interesting Fact: Yul helped draft sections of the Homeland Security Bill and other technology-related legislation. I mean, how do you even get that job??? And how far did they have to crawl up his... uh... backgound, to clear him for position like that?

Sex Appeal: aaaa
He played water polo, is an ultimate fighter, and likes to volunteer with children??? Uhhh, yep... you get all the points.

Smarts: aaaa
Yeah, he's all kinds of smart. I'd list it all here, but there are lots of big words and I don't feel like looking them up.

Strength: aaaa
Say it with me now... "Ultimate Fighter"

Strategy: aaaa
He has a background in law, business, and technology... all of which require some strategic skill. He's actually a part of the Google business strategy group!! If he's even once watched Survivor, he's learned everything he needs to know.

They need to either vote him off on day one, or they might as well write him the check and all go home.

To learn more about Yul, take a look at his official Survivor Bio.